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Re: Just Need to Babble - sorry, long » daisym

Posted by Dinah on September 17, 2004, at 9:35:40

In reply to Re: Just Need to Babble - sorry, long, posted by daisym on September 15, 2004, at 23:46:31

Hey, my therapist does the same thing! I don't think in reciprocity for disclosure, but when he's pleased with me for some reason. I am 100% positive he is unaware of his disclosure as reward strategy and would be utterly horrified if I were to bring it up. But I'm not stupid enough to bring it up. ;)

Daisy, I'm so sorry at what you and Pfinstegg had to endure. It's so far removed from my own experience as pampered/parentified only child/family support that I sometimes am at a loss. But I want to let you know how brave I think all of you is being. Brave doesn't mean not being scared. Brave means working in spite of the fear. And our therapists' job sometimes is helping prop us up at those times when we lose faith in ourselves.

Your therapist isn't going to abandon you for being in pain. Especially not if he often does long term work. I know saying so or even intellectually knowing so doesn't ease the fear though.

I was thinking of you and your therapist the other day. I was asking the sort of questions that seem pretty understandable to me. "Will you be here" "Are you leaving anytime soon", lots of questions like that. And I stumbled into "Please always take care of yourself.", which was part of the entire litany. But he answered by very carefully saying that he had a wife and child and he would take care of himself for them. It felt like a little handslap. Like he was telling me to be very aware that he wouldn't take care of himself for *me*, a *client*. And I didn't say anything, but I wailed to myself that I wanted Daisy's therapist. That he would have understood that that question was merely a continuation of the other questions. That for some reason I was feeling in need of reassurance. Your therapist would have understood that it was the most primitive ego states calling out for reassurance in the face of fear. He may have pointed it out or examined it. But I'm almost sure your therapist wouldn't have slapped a big "client" label on my forehead for being so presumptuous.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:391233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/391902.html