Posted by Aphrodite on September 16, 2004, at 7:00:42
In reply to Re: Just Need to Babble - sorry, long, posted by daisym on September 15, 2004, at 23:46:31
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I'm sure the frequency of your visits while supportive is probably causing so much rumination and memories. Actually, I do this anyway, therapy or not. I know the feeling of wishing there was some sort of a timeline, like by Christmas I will be past this one particular event, etc. Ultimately, I'd like to know when I won't need this type of intense support at all. Also, I look forward to the integration of the older and younger parts of me. At present that have such polarizing goals that there is nothing but constant inner turmoil with the diplomatic me trying to keep some sort of peace and normalcy. As superficial as it sounds, my main goal is to make sure my perfect facade doesn't start cracking -- I am completely invested in hiding this kind of pain.
I support your idea of finding out how your T takes care of himself. My T and I have had many conversations about this, and it brings a world of relief. He was very open about his own therapy and how I've been a part of that and how he discusses me there. He also will narrate his own internal struggle in responding to me. For example, once when I tried to avoid a topic, he explained, "I was thinking, 'Should I gently try to bring her back?' 'Does she need a break?'" It was immensely helpful to find out how he reacts internally to thing things I divulge.
Hope you find some moments of peace.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:391233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/391409.html