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Re: Homework - A tough one. DaisyM

Posted by fallsfall on July 2, 2004, at 7:19:32

In reply to Homework - A tough one., posted by DaisyM on July 1, 2004, at 21:35:18

I'll try to come back and post more about this later, but here are my immediate thoughts.

I spent 8 1/2 years in CBT. We talked about the past a little and I tried to intellectually understand how it was effecting the way I think, react and behave now. But this wasn't enough. It simply wasn't enough.

I'm with Gardenergirl - you can put bandaids (and tourniquets) on. And, don't get me wrong, I think that it is essential to do this and to know how to do this and to know when to do this. I *needed* those first aid skills. But sometimes you are hurt so badly that the school nurse can't fix it with a bandaid and some Tylenol. Sometimes you have to go to the hospital and have a surgeon cut you open. The surgeon is going to hurt you more than the school nurse, I will grant you that. But if you *don't* get the *real* problem addressed, it will make you sick and incapacitated for the rest of your (shortened) life. Sorry to be so blunt - I am hurting this morning - I feel like my surgeon has caused arterial bleeding... You *DO* HAVE the choice to not go to the surgeon, but (for me and for you, specifically) I don't think that is a wise choice.

People who say "Just leave it in the past" have indigestion. They *CAN* leave it in the past. They have discomfort come up now and then, but it isn't something they can't tolerate, and it goes away and they have long periods of feeling just fine. Some of us (I believe that you and I fit into this category) have bleeding ulcers or cancer in our stomachs. The *quality* of the pain is different, and the danger to our ability to *live* is different from those with indigestion. They have never experienced what we have. Their solution works fine for them, because their problem is different.

I would love to just pretend that life was fine and have it be so. But I have an appointment with my surgeon in an hour. Let's hope he has some clamps handy - I'm having a hard time telling my heart to stop pumping blood out of the wound, I really need his help.




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