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Re: Therapy today » Pfinstegg

Posted by DaisyM on May 26, 2004, at 20:05:58

In reply to Re: Therapy today » DaisyM, posted by Pfinstegg on May 26, 2004, at 16:04:25

not too graphic at all...I'm nodding my head.

Your therapist sounds great. And I think mine would agree with the intensity part. I think he hates the word transference because he said it makes the relationship "unreal" and he believes it is very real, perhaps more real than most.

I talked to him today about different age states for my youngerself. He said it makes perfect sense and wondered how they relate to each other. So we are going to talk more about that.

I think I'm still working through remembering and telling right now. So I don't have rage and a need for retaliation as much as I have this intense confusion about HOW could this have happened? Especially as I come to grips with the brutality of some of it, which has been surpressed up til now. And I'm still trying to believe my Therapist when he says he can hear about it as many times as she needs to tell it, and it won't make him disappear. I think I'm with your infant self...I keep waiting to be abandoned for being bad. I need tons of extra reassurance right now and he keeps giving it to me.

But the guilt of being this needy is flaring up. We talked about the Monday holiday and he wants a phone check in on MOnday and coming in Tuesday (not my regular day) in addition to regular sessions on Wednesday and Thursday. He said it is "just" intense right now and it will ease off. And he'd rather have a lot of contact than have me fall apart. I agree with that but...

I have a question, if you don't mind. When you found your analyst, did you go in telling him that this is what you wanted to work on? Or did it come up after you started to trust him? I've been hearing really mixed things about Therapists who will and won't work with this.

 

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