Posted by spoc on May 10, 2004, at 16:13:46
In reply to Re: Re: Re: That's it! » spoc, posted by 64bowtie on May 10, 2004, at 12:49:47
> Yes, I was a child and yes, I am a parent. Please don't waste any time defending the actions of anyone who "problem solves" with violence and coercion. If you don't get my message, I apologise for my cautious wordiness.
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***Rod, this could in no way have been in response to anything I said or prompted by anything I said. I do not want things posted in a response purporting to be to me, that makes it appear that I must have somehow been advocating or excusing such a thing. In fact, my post addressed nothing of that nature or even that general subject whatsoever, and I find it misleading for you to post such a thing as though it is in response to some actual opinion I expressed.In general here, I think we have gone off on two completely different subjects (and the above was most certainly never one of them regardless). In my post I only addressed your initial statement that in all cases, people are somehow choosing to hold onto their pain and get stuck. I did so by noting that there are also chemical and organic differences between people's brains. Meaning that pace and definition of improvement will vary, although of course no one is excused from the responsibility to do something. But, that using a standard of improvement that sees anything falling short of some black and white standard (to be reached while not using meds either) as childlike "bellyaching" isn't warranted.
I did not and do not advocate shirking one's own responsibility in changing; constantly seeking pleasure and avoiding pain; or adopting a permanent "victim mentality." My gut reaction is always that people should be self-aware and look at themselves first. I am also familiar with and not arguing against the tenets of motivational speakers. What I noted was only the above, which is based on accepted research rather than opinion. Biological differences are one reason why one size doesn't fit all; and why electing to be sane or stable enough to simply choose this ideal is not in fact a simple, equally-available option, which could expediently be embraced by all.
Because, you asked. "What is the reason, (is)there more than one reason?" If you mean now that it was actually a rhetorical question only, that means discussion shouldn't follow, as the conclusion was predetermined. But regardless of that, this is an age-old subject that in the situation at hand needs to be left at "agree to disagree." Please. In advance I will respect that you may not even agree that there are sometimes biological components, but either way, please respect that I don't wish to debate it.
poster:spoc
thread:344965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040503/msgs/345473.html