Posted by 64bowtie on May 9, 2004, at 14:36:16
In reply to Re: I wonder, what.....? » 64bowtie, posted by Brio D Chimp on May 9, 2004, at 8:45:19
>>>"Will the opposite also prove to be the case -- that socially supportive and loving feelings reduce the sting of pain?"
<<<Thanx for this great article...
What is not said is that replacing bad habits, that take up our time and distract us from what we are about, can and must be re-written. As the process of replacing bad-habits with good-habits unfolds, a remarkable transcendance occurs. All habits have a "set-up"; a precondition which takes place. Once we start adopting options and optional behavior (and optional timing for behavior), freedom from the chaotic model and the "set-up", evaporates around us. Bad-feelings are extinquished. Good-feelings follow.
All our lives we seek good-feelings. There always seems to be a shortage of good-feelings. This makes us seek them even more. All the time we continue to stumble over bad-feelings. Those who are able to hide their bad-feelings seem attractive to us; we wanna be just like them. Since we are "hardwired" to avoid bad-feelings, The highest value is to seek good-feelings. It never works that way!!!
If we wait for others to tell us how to feel-good, we'll never get there. As adults, we can process options and make decisions. Life is not about seeking good-feelings. Life is not about avoiding dissatisfaction because we come "hardwired" for that.
Life is about seeking knowledge and understanding which we do by both thinking and feeling in some context appropriate concert of our logic and emtotions. We then can see clearly our unmistakeable path to freedom. Good-feelings then follow, not the otherway around. Alcohol, drugs, and 'Meds', may make us feel good, but don't produce the path to freedom, and thus to the good-feelings we are seeking.
Expectations happen to us. Expectations are for children. Options are for adults. Adults act on options. Make mine options. I'll leave expectations to the children. We do best when we replace general avoidance with discovery of the new. We study new stuff with our logic and our emotions. This is discovery. Freedom is an adult attribute, close behind discovery.