Posted by 64bowtie on May 9, 2004, at 13:41:17
In reply to Re: Please be clear.... » 64bowtie, posted by finelinebob on May 9, 2004, at 4:44:16
> we still live in a world that tells us to stop bellyaching if we're not bleeding.
<<< Thanx flb. What is "bellyaching"? I belonged to a study group of professionals that pursued that very question to it's bitter end over a six year period.
What I can tell you is that children can tell other children to stop bellyaching. If you hear a grown-up using this same "meat-axe, knuckle-dragging" technique on another grown-up, they haven't made it to adulthood, no matter how old they are.
True, real, emancipated adults, have discovered they have many new and fantastic skills, abilities, and attributes, giving them options to study for helping others mediate bad-things in the others' lives. The "conservative talk show host" doesn't give you options for thinking about a subject. Unfortunately, some Religions don't give followers options for thinking about God, and change what that means midstream. ...can make us feel crazy!
Most troubling is the grown-up parent who hasn't made it to adulthood. Their behavior shows internal-conflictedness. Diabolical is when they demand allegiance to their "word", and each day it's a "new word"! Alcohol and other drugs of choice, helps these poor souls forget they changed the rules, day to day.
We come here "hardwired" to avoid-dissatisfaction. We can overcome the "pitfalls" of this element of our nature, if we can ever see past the layer after layer after layer of bad habits foisted on us by those who came before us. They induce (force) us to adopt their dysfunctional, chaotic model, steeped in denial and indecision, as our blueprint for life.
John Bradshaw said it like this, "Want a tech-manual of how to make a schizophrenic? Its called 'Normal Parenting in America'!" I wonder how many held onto that quote over the years, or how many let it in one ear and out the other?
Denial.... is not just a river in Egypt...
Dysfunction is a collection of bad habits. Denial is the locked-door of unchanged behavior. Indecision helps us throw away the key to that door. Anger and fear are reactions to implore others to help us overcome our dissatisfactions, some real while others are imagined.
My contention is that therapists are being trained to help overcome the wrong stuff, which is why the word "cure" is such a dirty word. Also, ever wonder why therapy just seems like "the same old stuff, just a different day!"...???
I am a small voice..........