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Why is it so difficult helenlag

Posted by antigua on January 9, 2004, at 8:22:45

In reply to Re: speaker, why is it so difficult Speaker, posted by helenag on January 8, 2004, at 21:22:40

I can relate about your husband. I find that it's much easier to keep things from my husband because he worries so much and I feel badly about what I've put him and to some extent our children through. I do feel us growing apart and that makes me very sad. He has been my best friend since we were teenagers. He has issues of his own that my own problems bring up so I get a double whammy when I feel myself slipping away and I feel guilty and ashamed.

I have found, however, that I can open up to him after I've worked something out. If I go to him w/just "I'm feeling bad" he always wants to fix it and of course he can't so he gets frustrated. If I've already worked it out it gives him some satisfaction in knowing that I'm o.k. for today. One of my counselors told me that I should be opening up and sharing things w/him but I swear, when I try he just doesn't seem to understand and we end up in a fight. Mostly over me being quiet and not wanting to talk, or pulling away from him because I need some space. Sometimes I really feel like I can't win. Right now I just figure I have to put myself first so that in the long run I will be better for him.

Hang in there, I know how you feel.




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