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Re: T is relieved -- should I be, too? crushedout

Posted by Rigby on January 8, 2004, at 18:33:23

In reply to Re: T is relieved -- should I be, too? Rigby, posted by crushedout on January 7, 2004, at 13:14:01

I think if you know your therapist well--like you really do know them like you'd know a friend then they've done a poor job with boundaries. Sometimes though we think we know someone well b/c the energy is there but, when the energy calms down (like being enfatuated) then, well, then that's when the "knowing" begins. It can be inspiring or depressing--usually more the latter than the former at least for me!
(1) I do think I know her pretty well (and, perhaps unfortunately, she thinks I do, too -- she told me so yesterday). Still, you're right that I don't know her well enough that this can really be only about her. It's only partially (only a small part?) about her. The rest is about me, that's for sure.

If there's not a great reason as to why this will benefit you, her telling you *her* feelings then, again, boundaries are not being properly drawn. If she tells you she has feelings for you but you can't be together that'll only serve to fuel your frustrations and hopes. If she tells you she's not interested romantically then you'll be really depressed. I don't see how you win in either case.
> (2) I think she is going to tell me about her feelings for me. She told me she was going to be very explicit about this.

I just hope that this situation is helpful to you--that it's not about distraction--substituting one obsession or addiction for another. Crushes have always been like drugs to me--getting off of 'em is tough. Good luck--I'm routing for you.
> Still, your bottom line sounds right on the money and I need to absorb what you've told me and really try to put it into action. How, I wonder? But I'll have to figure that out.




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