Posted by Phil on December 15, 2002, at 11:53:19
In reply to I am angry, please help, posted by Miller on December 11, 2002, at 8:57:48
The only thing he did wrong, if he was the one making the call, was not be at the hospital when you arrived.
You, I assume, see this person of your own free will and 'signed on' to therapy to find your way out of the darkness. So the one with the flashlight does what I would have done and you're angry. What's he supposed to do or say, "Oh, you're okay now, great, see you Thursday."
So, you don't like police and rude nurses..tough.
You told your doctor, who is, hopefully well trained, in a conversation that you tried to kill yourself. He talked to you to see where you were at emotionally and may not have liked what he heard. Miller, you're talking about killing yourself, self-murder, don't get pissed at someone trying everything they can to save you.
Humble yourself a bit and quit blaming your problems on the doctors, the police, the nurses. Even strangers get pissed at someone trying to kill themselves. Try to see the big picture; we are programmed to save others. If a 5 year old niece were to somehow able to call you and then said she wanted to die because her rabbit died or whatever, what would you say?
I believe in a higher power and I think this force puts people into action to save others at times. All sounds like coincidence and 12 step crap, I'm sure. But I think that higher power will always see you as you see a child and it will hurt this power to see you hurt yourself.This post may get me blocked..fine. It will piss you and some others off, fine. Even though I was abused and have suffered some bad treatment and probably have been depressed since I was a small kid, I have promised myself and two brothers that it will never happen and it won't.
You are in the darkest stage of this disease and I know how it feels to just want to disappear. This is the time in the disease that you've got to trust others and not listen to the inner voice saying nothing short of death will do.
We all have to go beyond our limits to live, then we move to a better place. Karma says no shortcuts.
Miller, I think the vast majority of suicides can be prevented and we should all help someone in trouble unless they don't want it. If you really want to die you'll die.
Tina told me and others to leave her alone because our guilt was just making her decision easier, that's a load of crap. Everyone, if they want to kill themselves, should at least take responsibility and stop blaming others for their sadness. Even in hell, you still have a choice.
This is my issue too. If I sound angry, it's because I am. I'm real close to this issue because of my past. My mother lived, got sober, and was relatively happy for 18 alcohol free years. If my mom would have died, I never would have know the pride of her courage. I certainly wouldn't have known what a wonderful human being she was and she was a jewel.
She died of cancer Christmas '93. Another sad Christmas for me but I was so proud of her fighting to the end. Her refusal to give up has given me the will to live, damn the torpedos.
And I love her so much for that gift and I miss her so much.You have every right to do with yourself what you wish really. What does the 5 year old child living inside of you really want? Our pain is our past and we have to walk on fire to kill it..or it will kill us all.
poster:Phil
thread:1790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1833.html