Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 14, 2006, at 20:22:25
In reply to Re: other elephants, posted by Dr. Bob on December 14, 2006, at 9:10:07
> > > > I am in grief.
> > > >
> > > > I am very sad.
> > > >
> > > > I am feeling anxious
> > >
> > > > I was trying to fix babble, because babble hurt me.
> > >
> > > Are other feelings part of grief, too?
> >
> > What follows has been sorted into expressions of grief || reactions to grief.
>
> Thanks for going back through your post. For others, too, grief can also include feeling alone, unsupported, hopeless, helpless, and overwrought. And maybe also angry?
>
> BobDear Dr. Bob,
I know you mean well, but I feel that you have done me an injustice. By including the word "too" and the modal verb "can" instead of "may", you presume to describe my grief as also including elements of "anger".Please go back to my original post, and read it very carefully. I include the entire post below, because I don't think it's fair to only quote a snippet here and there in this particular situation.
I was talking very specifically about MY reaction to my friend pseudoname's suicide. I did not attempt to explain or analyze how "others" feel about it. I wrote about how *I* felt.
From the psychobabble FAQ's
"...And it tends to be more conducive to harmony to talk about how you feel than what someone else did,..."
Perhaps, Dr. Bob, if you wanted to introduce the topic of "anger" you could have written about your own reaction of "anger" or cited one of these "others".
FAQ's cont.
"Please don't be sarcastic, treat injury or death lightly,... jump to conclusions about others, post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down,... use language that could offend others, ... post information that you know to ... exaggerate or overgeneralize -- etc. Even if you're quoting someone else."
Dr. Bob, please do not use my post to overgeneralize my feelings to others who may be grieving. Please do not interpret my post to include feelings that I do not acknowledge. That is a therapist's job, not yours. If you wish to talk about more general reactions to grief, you could have used multiple examples, or perhaps started your own thread.
or you could have linked us to an earlier discussion on a related topic, for example
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031120/msgs/291730.html
For the record, I am in grief for pseudoname. I am also in grief for other things. I am angry about other things. I am not angry that pseudoname chose to take his own life. I am not angry about how I found out that pseudoname took his own life ("blaming the messenger", as it were). If I am angry, I cannot acknowledge it in this forum because I cannot find a civil way of communicating it (it's a rather specific anger). Also, for the record, I was angry before I found out about my friend's suicide, and I'm not sure that his suicide changed the intensity or quality of my anger.
I leave it to your discretion (not that I have a choice) whether to leave this PBC on the /grief/ board or to redirect it to /administration/.
Thank you for your hard work on this site.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My original post:
I am in grief.I am very sad.
I am feeling anxious, well to the extent that my current medication allows it.
I wish Babble weren't the source of that pain, but I cannot deny it is.
I was trying to fix babble, because babble hurt me.
And I thought I'd start simple.
crushed. so i give up. no fixing. no tinkering. No more commentary.
What's the use? I don't get blocked. I'm rarely in danger of incivility. Why should I bother? babble's safe for me, or unsafe or whatever. who cares?
Maybe, Honore, the reason why things seem to spiral out of control here is because this board is not designed to provide support. It sure would be nice if we could have a forum to provide support to our Administrators. I would have a lot to say. Or a way of feeling like we were actually engaging in a collaboration with our Administrators. That is not the case. Good collaborators do not ignore well-intentioned suggestions. Good collaborators try to explain why something will work and why something won't work. Instead, I often feel like a sniveling peon, finding my ideas dismissed or ignored as easily as one would wipe crumbs from a table.
I'm abandoning my misconception of Dr. Bob's project being a collaborative enterprise between "contributors" and "administrators".
Sorry, my role here is to fill up vanilla pages with evidence of my transforming insanity.
My role here is to BABBLE.
To talk rapidly or continuously in a foolish, excited, or incomprehensible way
To utter something rapidly and incoherently
To reveal something secret or confidential by talking impulsively or carelessly
To make the continuous murmuring sound of water flowing over stones.
[from Oxford American Dictionaries]
poster:LlurpsieBlossom
thread:713539
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20051017/msgs/713748.html