Posted by nukeme1(Mike) on January 21, 2004, at 12:14:36
In reply to Re: Help me get over her after a 6-year relationship! » nukeme1(Mike), posted by Mimi on January 20, 2004, at 15:49:48
Thanks for the reply, I will check out those books at the library tomorrow. I was doing ok yesterday because we spoke and she basically told me that I had already moved on and that she was nowhere near moving on (even though this other guy is sleeping in her bed, buying her roses and listening to some sinatra, that and I also noticed his underwear and shirt on the floor of the bedroom when I went to pick up the last of my stuff with one of my friends today) the fact that she told me that I was more advanced in the process than her gave me a certain sense of independance and power that sent me on a high for the rest of the day. But seeing the aformentionned clothing on the florr of the bedroom kinda freaked me and I am now back in a messed up frame of mind...I cannot help but wonder if they are already at a sexual stage in their relationship...she had assured me yesterday that there was a slight physical attraction but nothing sexual in the least...she said she did not know if that portion would ever come back for her after me. I am now stupidly thinking about how this guy is trying to slowly creep his way into her pants and her being to emotionally distraught to even be able to see his sleazyness. I mean, this guy was supposed to be a friend, a support for her to fall back on, but he instead became her boyfriend and took advantage of her dependance to try to get something back. If he were a real friend, and erally cared about her, he would have told her that they should only be friends for now because she has to find herself and be completely over me before starting anything. Also, if he had any real emotional attachment to her, it would bother him that she keeps all of the photos of the two of us on the walls everywhere in the apartment, because that would mean that she is not 100% investing emotionally in him, but he doesn't mind, I think he even likes it because for his ego, this is like a huge win...in his mind, she is picking him over me a successful, charming, nice person. What a d|@k. he really just gets me. GRRRR! anyways, I am probably going to go to the movies with my friends soon (along with this girl that has had a crush on me for a year and a half) and hopefully, I'll let myself have a good time. But I did make it clear to her that right now, I cannot invest anything, I just need her as a friend to fall back on. If something occurs with time, so be it, but I don't feel ready for the investment at the moment, and I don't want to use anybody to prop myself up all the while destroying them. My ex is doing just that, but she does not realize it because she is not all that self-aware. The guy doesn't really care either cause he wants to sleep with her, that is all he is after (what kind of "friend" consoles a friend by hugging an kissing all night and sleeping in the same bed as that "friend"....I have GOT to try to find a way to stop thinking about this because it will make me end up in an asylum. anyways, thanks for your constant support and contribution and useful suggestions, they are, as always, enormously appreciated.
-Mike
poster:nukeme1(Mike)
thread:301327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/303747.html