Posted by nukeme1(Mike) on January 17, 2004, at 9:08:18
In reply to Re: Help me get over her after a 6-year relationship! » nukeme1(Mike), posted by Mimi on January 16, 2004, at 7:16:57
Thanks for the post Mimi, you don't think that she was very honest with me? I'm wondering if that is true or not because she always said that she was, and I never had any reason to think otherwise. She told me a million times that she was not leaving me for him, that there were other reasons and that what is happening with him has nothing to do with us. She had also told me that if anything were meant to happen between the two of them, that what happened between us wouold be the reason that it did not work out if it was supposed to. anyways, I feel horrible...I just wish I hadn't cared so much about her, then this pain wouldn't be so strong. I mean, I was trying to sleep the other night, and all I could think of was if she was already having sex with this other guy, and if it was better (which seems almost impossible, given the fact that I would always make sure that she was content after the fact, and I would love to bask in the afterglow with her, sometimes staying up and talking all night about a million things, and how much I loved her.) Plus she told me that this guy is weaker than me, uglier than me (facially and physically) and that he is too skinny for her tastes, has less money and basically no future. He is 24, I am 22, I have graduated from cegep and am going to university this fall. He conveniently decided to stop smoking the day after we broke up, and told her he'd been meaning to do that for a long time, she says she wants to go to cegep and whhen she told him that, he said that he also wanted to go adn has been considering it for a long time, but when she asked in which field, he said he did not know. The F-ing guy is a loser and will never amount to anything, he will never be able to love her to the extent that I did. This is so obviously a ploy to get into her pants. Lots of people are telling me that maybe she has a fairly weak ego and that as soon as someone shows interest, she is amazed and overtaken. She does not have any friends except him, and whenever she did make any friends, they were either guys or women over 35... she said she does not relate to women her age. Why does she want him so much? She even says that the whole thing is that she doesn't think of the future with him, it might end next week as it may not. My father, who is a psychiatric nurse thinks that she suffers maybe from bipolar depression and that this could very easily just be a manic phase. hmm, geez I with I did not love her so. I told her that I loved her unconditionally, and it is so true, that it is the very reason that I am coming apart. She could have been run over by a truck, gained 400 lbs, been a supoer skinny freak, grow body hair, have bo, anything and I would have loved her all the same for who she was. Geez, I'm in tears just typing and thinking about it. I don't think that I'll ever be able to love someone this much again, it hurt too deep. I'm in such pain. I miss squeezing her, I miss lifting her up and carrying her to her room, I miss giving her full body massages with hot oils and drawing hot bubble baths for her. I miss cooking for her, waiting for her, looking at her from the corner of my eye. I was so deeply in love, no matter what everyone told me. They said she is below my level, that intelectually, physically, basically on every level, she was beneath me, and that I could do so much, better...if that is the case, then why does this hurt so much? Why did I love our relationship so much....I don't know... All I know now is that I have to get used to the fact that the center of my universe is gone, that I have to make me the center of my universe, that I have to care about myself, get into shape, take up the singing lessons that I have put off forever because I didn't want to miss out on the moments that we could have. She always loved my voice and told me that I have to do something about it because it is a terrible waste....I don't know.... I just feel in pain, and shattered. I have nothing left inside but broken memories and long lost emotions. amyways, I'm glad that someone at least took the time to read my rediculously long post and help me feel a little better. I really hope thing work out for you too, I hate this pain and would never even wish it on my worst enemy. anyhow...that is depressing enough for now. Thanks again,
-The sorry excuse for a human...Mike
poster:nukeme1(Mike)
thread:301327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/301956.html