Posted by BarbaraCat on August 31, 2003, at 21:23:30
In reply to Re: family denial, posted by fluffy on August 31, 2003, at 17:46:53
This thread has been going on a long time, do you realize that? We've all become so close, we know how inexplicable it is what we have to our 'normal' relations, but we know each other very well, we understand each other. We have buddies here that hold us through the hellish times and say "Yes! I know what you're going through! You're not alone!".
There's a mystery and a special magic in what we have. You know what I mean. We're blessed, but we don't know how to use or creatively channel our energy and power. Don't forget that magic, and try to find evidence of it everywhere, no matter how raw and turbulent it's untutored form is.
We're blessed and we'll find the way if we continue to just ASK! We'll find the outlet for our gifts if we refuse to give into FEAR. What's there instead of FEAR? You know deep inside. The goal of meds is to help us calm down enough to find what that answer is. We live in strange times and everyone is feeling it, not just US.
What we bipolars, as raw pilgrims on this journey have, is acute sensitivity and razor's edge instincts. This ain't a bad thing at all. It WILL get better and it WILL make more sense. It really is all coming together for me, just recently, and it's pretty amazing, this wild journey I'm on.
But you have to go through your own journey in your own way. Nothing I say will sink in now, but it might arise when needed. Anyhow, I hope it will. I thank the Great Mystery for Lithium, at least for me. I keep thinking that Spirit made and put Lithium in my path and I said 'Gee, thanks, I'll try f**cking anything!'. Now I can get on with Life and it's My Time, My Life and if it's taken 52 years to get here, then so be it. I look good, I'm feeling better with each day, and shoot, it's only gonna get better.
Just think of someone who never experienced the Full Monty of Life! The anguish, the bite of pain, the poignant ecstasy of hope. Would you want to hang out with such a pallid personality? Not me! I'll take my anguish any day because I know that there's a higher order looking out for me. You too!
So give thanks for your extremes of experiencing Life. When you're older, you'll be grateful it wasn't a zombie life. You felt deeply! You're Red and not Grey in your 'take' on life. Right??!!! Remember, 'No Fascinating Women in History was ever a Good Girl!' (Bumper Sticker that changed my life!) This applies to guys as well, by the way.
We're friends, dammit, and I am so grateful you're all are in my life. I can express ME in all my honesty without someone going "Whooo, someone get our the white coats. She's WEIRD!" Sorry, but there are no orderlies with white coats in Our Cyber-World! Love to all and thanks, Barbara