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Re: Update Lorainne, Elizabeth, et. al. Lorraine

Posted by shelliR on August 9, 2001, at 19:07:12

In reply to Re: Update Lorainne, Elizabeth, et. al. shelliR, posted by Lorraine on August 8, 2001, at 23:53:50

> Hi Lorraine, all
>

>
> > > > > btw, did you read any of the thread about attachment? Do you know what I mean now?
>
> You shamed me into it.
I didn't mean to, just thought it was easier than me explaining again.

>I think I understand. My kids always say "look at this", "watch this, Mommy", "come listen to my new guitar piece, Mom". It's like their life only comes fully alive when I am there to witness it. My husband is the same way. His idea of a great day is to do anything and have me watch him. These is something about this--validate me by letting me be the center of your universe. It is supposed to be (according to my therapist) very important for kids to get their fill of this. The other piece--which I have thought about a lot--is the drive toward symbiosis with another person. Symbiosis, the melding of two into one. I felt it the first time I breast fed my children. I was transported. Also--at least for me--the need to be fully known and loved. I get this stuff in other ways--not with my therapist. You see where the children come in, and symbiosis of sorts with my husband (there is something like patina that comes with time), and being fully known and loved by husband and dear friends. I think I understand what you are talking about. Do I sound on track?
>
Not really. Because some of the people writing in that thread and also many in my real life, have children, and I don't think the hole left from abuse and lack of protection/safety/mothering can be filled by parenting. It is the pain of something lost, really, developmental stages lost, and while children and spouse are very satisfying emotionally, (I hope), I think the other work is an inner work of griefing, etc. Actually I think it is best if it is worked out before motherhood, because an adult who still feels that emptiness/hurt might expect too much from her children--put too much pressure on them to "need" her. It may be that somewhere along the line, someone did mother you, or meet that need, or it may be something you worked out either with or without therapy.


> > Aside from feeling a bit depressed, I am feeling a bit down tonight (two different things for me).
> Sorry to hear this. I hope the Parnate kicks in soon.

Today I had a migraine, hopefully not from the parnate. I didn't catch it early enough, like you said in a previous post, timing can matter. If I take advil, etc. at the first tiny sign, somethings that can avert the migraine. My migraines are fairly mild as far as migraines, but still annoying (pain behind my eye, sick in my stomach, but no vomiting or anything)
> > >


> > > > So you think 10mg of parnate is really making a huge difference?
>
> Bear in mind, I am almost always on puny doses of drugs. Moclobemide was 75 mg (the average dose, i think is 300 and above); Selegiline 5 mg; Wellbutrin 100 (drove me out of my skin). I understand that for most people Parnate is between 20 and 40 mg. I wouldn't be surprised if I end up here or 5 mg higher. I am biting my nails and cuticles again--an indication that I am probably a bit overstimulated. What can I say, I take small doses and I feel things quickly--Effexor took the longest for me to feel positive effects from.

So are you saying "yes" ? < g >
>
>
< What's your titrating schedule? By the way, I'm seeing my pdoc on Friday and will ask him re sleeping.

My pdoc wants me to go up other day by 5mg until I reach 30mg. He says he will be very happy if I can tolerate 30mg, but he doesn't have a ceiling. He's not worried about sleep; he thinks we can medicate that also. :-)

So tomorrow I will go up to 15mg and if I have another migraine I will probably go back down to 10mg for longer. He'll be away next week

later,

Shelli


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