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Re: I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine shelliR

Posted by Lorraine on July 15, 2001, at 11:55:03

In reply to Re: I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine Lorraine, posted by shelliR on July 15, 2001, at 9:34:42

> >I'm jumping into the thread between you and elizabeth; I hope you don't mind.

Shelli, I so appreciate you jumping in. I value what you have to say and it really helps me to talk with people who have really been there before (or are there now)< vbg >

> I have been to two of the top TRD pdocs in my city. I think the only thing that separates them out from dozens of other pdocs is that they read everything, and they go to conferences, so they know what's being tried out there. On the other hand, you participate in PB, so you also know what is being tried. There is nothing that either of them have suggested that I have not already been aware of through this board. I really agree with you. A real plan of attack is an illusion.

I can't tell you how useful this advice is to me. It confirms my gut instinct and is going to save me a lot of time, aggravation and, knowing me, anger. I'll stick with my guy. He charges a lot (too much), but he is a genuinely concerned guy who listens and hears better than most, values my insights and is adventurous. When I told him I wanted to try Inderal for the panic attacks, he mulled it over saying "I've never really used it for that. I'd be willing to entertain that" and finally "that's actually a brilliant idea" (Elizabeth take a bow)--all this within a 20 minute phone call.

> >she told me I didn't want to get better because I wouldn't take stuff that made me gain 15 or more lbs.

This sort of stuff just really fries my butt. I mean who are they to say that sort of stuff. In my case, I gained 45 and lost sexual response. The truth is that even though I have a wonderful husband, this was eating away at the marriage. And, of course, vigorous walking or hiking was almost painful given the amount of weight I was carrying. There were some tremendous costs to the med this pdoc had me on.

> >She was more interested in augmenting nardil than changing altogether, so I tried about ten augmentation strategies.

Did you try adding a stimulant?

> >So what was the genius here; we both could have choosen for her the same route, i.e., try everything, and something will work.

This is a really good point. I have to confess that I have been tempted to try Martin Jensen (who is local here--an hour commute) just because he tries to race through the drugs to find the fit. He points out that if you do this another way the "odds" of finding the right two or three drugs become astronomical. It doesn't work with all drugs to give them brief trials, but certainly it works for stimulants, probably benzos and probably anti-convulsants. I'm not sure that I need to actually see him. I do have his book and although I haven't been racing through the trial like he suggests, I do try to make sure that I try something new frequently. Especially with the stimulants it makes sense--I wish that the pdocs had samples of these like they do of the SSRIs (although I know why they don't). I feel the drug effects pretty quickly generally--although Effexor took forever and it sounds like the MAOs and TCAs may as well.

> >I do have to give this guy credit though for putting me on oxycontin--that did take some bravery.

Is oxycontin an opiate? Do you have anxiety, pain or autonomical symptoms? What does it do for you? Just curious. I cannot even tolerate codeine with tylenol. I makes me weepy and shakey and emotionally fragile. I sit here fretting over even trying benzos because of the withdrawal issues. (I hated withdrawal from Effexor--it took me about 6 months. Course I didn't know to take Prozac to relieve the withdrawal.) I really have to wrestle myself down sometimes to move onto the next treatment option.

> >And he was aware of the ERT study and he had me try concerta before giving up on stimulents, and I didn't have the same horrible body feelings with it.

What is ERT?

>Yet in the long run, I am choosing next to try Parnate.

Good luck with Parnate, Shelli. I have been looking at it also.

Do you mind if I ask you how functional you are generally? Are you able to work? I have not been able to work because I am not stabilized and cannot from day-to-day know where my mood will land. I am beginning to come to the realization that I have some "acceptance" work to do in terms of my condition and I need to figure out how to make a life where I am right now. This always putting life on hold until I figure out my meds doesn't work for me--it's been too long and my focus becomes myopic. I'm longing for the sense of community that one finds at the workplace--but now perhaps charity oriented, maybe even dealing with depression or mental illness--kind of a need to see and help people who are in worse condition than me. Unfortunately, I don't even know how to approach finding this type of volunteer work or getting involved with this type of community so the idea just hangs in midair.

> I would stay with a pdoc who was open and adventurous. If the two of you are feeling stuck, you can always go for a consultation with another pdoc, and ask what would be her/his direction with you, with your symptoms and history of meds.

You are right. Thank-you for helping me think this through.

> BTW, I think your idea of doing nardil with a stimulent is an excellent one. I loved nardil (when it worked) because I never felt shaky or drugged. And I didn't gain weight. YMMV!

Shelli--Did you gain weight on SSRI's?

Keep me posted on your Parnate trial.




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