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Re: I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine shelliR

Posted by Lorraine on July 16, 2001, at 10:26:03

In reply to Re: I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine Lorraine, posted by shelliR on July 16, 2001, at 0:27:49

> > >So this hasn't been a bad waiting period for me so far.

I'm glad to hear that. The transitions can really be the pits.

> > > It doesn't sound from your description that you would be a good candidate for opiate treatment.

I know that this is true. We are all different though and I am glad it's working for you. You have your head up about the addiciton issue. So if you are watching yourself like a hawk hopefully you will be ok. Jensen gives a case example of a woman for whom Opiate Replacement therapy worked. She ended up taking Hycomine (opiate with decongestant and caffeine) one tablet 4x day for 5 years which cleared her fibromylagia, agoraphobia, depression, fatigue and ADD without any evidence of tolerance or addiction. She also took .5 Klonopin at night. He says "This house bound agoraphobic became an outgoing, happy, and frequently traveling airline stewardess". Just in case you are looking for a career switch < vbg >

> > What is ERT?
> Estrogen replacement therapy.

Course now I am reading that an imbalance in the ratio of estrogen to progesterin can cause panic attacks and anxiety--which is a possibility for me because my hyperventilating started about 6 months after I started estrogen replacement therapy with no progesterin augmentation.

> > > I own a small business--I'm a fine arts (sort of) photographer, so I get to totally set my own schedule. During the worst days of my depression, I have only been able to work because I set my own schedule. When I shoot I am never depressed, no matter how I felt before the shoot. I am really lucky about that. It may have to do with the absolute focus that I must have.

I think this is extraordinary and wonderful. I'm glad you see both the good and the bad. This is a great example of making a life even when your depression is not under control. I have been trying to force myself to make commitments and just "do" even when I don't feel good--because this waiting for tomorrow thing is not working. Sometimes I surprise myself and end up functioning pretty well despite the depression.

> > > It is hard to sort out work time from non-work time when you work at home. But I had a hard time with relationships and bordom when I worked regular jobs--I never learned how to be around someone everyday if there was tension between us and I hate repetition.

You mean work relationships?

> > > If I had more initiative, I'd try to start a breakfast/brunch club for other people in the arts who work at home, maybe meet once a week.

Even once a month would be good. What would be great would be if you could form a group and nominate someone else with more consistent energy to head it up. < vbg >

> > >There are business decision that come up that I have to deal with completely by myself, although I do ask my best friend for a lot of advise in dealing with a situation.

I have a law degree and a business degree burning a hole in my pocket. I don't miss the law so much, but I do miss the business planning and deal making. I have found that when I try to consult, I have a very hard time transitioning from the work to the non-work phase. I mean I get spacey and miss deadlines--which is so unlike me when I worked. And, of course, regular work in this area is very stressful and, I suspect that like a skier who has to protect his previously injured leg, I will no longer be able to put myself in situations of stress. So I have some rethinking to do..

> > Keep me posted on your Parnate trial.
> Well, actually I may try two things first. The estrogen patch, maybe, and I think I will run trying nardil again with cercerta by my pdoc. Nardil, concerta, and oxycontin could be good.

Good luck with it. I hope the Nardil works second time around.

> > > There are a million volunteer things you can do, like even once a week, but I don't know if you can depend on yourself to have that initiative now.

Well, you are right about not being able to depend on myself--but this situation is just dragging on too long and I absolutely have to pull myself out of the house and make the first step. I think I'll look into the group that Elizabeth spoke about--the national depression support group. It will be a start.

> > >I don't have much initiative myself--luckily I don't really have to for my work. I did work very hard (but it was really fun) designing a website for my business and that has proved to a lot more helpful that I had anticipated. I should have done it years ago.

Yeah, I surprised myself by pretty much heading up the 6th grade graduation party at my son's school this year. Extraordinary long hours for about a month.

> > > One type of volunteer work I'd like to look into is mediation. Apparently there are both community and court programs that use volunteers. I don't like mindless things (like handing out food) even though I know they are important, so this mediation thing appeals to me because it uses both people and thinking skills. I may look into that after labor day.

Mediation? That would be up my alley as well, although I don't know that whole law side is pretty blah for me right now. Still, it is worth looking into.

> Does your pdoc have any preference for nardil or parnate for you?

I speak to him today at 4pm. I'll see what he says. He has this odd belief that if the "right" medication is chosen for you, you will not have side effects. When I say things like "but don't people gain weight on Nardil", he'll say "my patients don't". Anyway, we'll see.

> > > Keep writing...

Try to stop me < vbg >




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