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Re: I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine Lorraine

Posted by shelliR on July 16, 2001, at 0:27:49

In reply to Re: I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine shelliR, posted by Lorraine on July 15, 2001, at 11:55:03

> > >She was more interested in augmenting nardil than changing altogether, so I tried about ten augmentation strategies.
> Did you try adding a stimulant?

I tried lots of stimulents with nardil and they all made my body feel really weird. It was only after I stopped taking nardil that I tried concerta, and did not have bad feelings. So actually, before I try parnate, probably I should try nardil with concerta.

> > >I do have to give this guy credit though for putting me on oxycontin--that did take some bravery.
> Is oxycontin an opiate? Do you have anxiety, pain or autonomical symptoms? What does it do for you?

I had discovered that vicodin, along with relieving pain--most frequently premenstrual pain, lifted my spirits. So for the past three years I've been taking it, first just premenstrually, then almost everyday to control the depression. I found that I didn't need to increase to get the antidepressant effect. When I went into the hospital last month I was in horrible shape and felt like I couldn't hold on to see if the selegiline worked. So one of the doctors prescribed oxycontin for me--it's longer acting than vicidin and I was only taking the vicidin in the early evening, so basically I was having horrible depressed days. But my therapist was so against me taking it, that I didn't want to increase it per day. So now that I'm on the oxy, it is in action all day and evening for me (I take it when I wake up and in the late afternoon). So this hasn't been a bad waiting period for me so far.

It doesn't sound from your description that you would be a good candidate for opiate treatment.

> > >And he was aware of the ERT study and he had me try concerta before giving up on stimulents, and I didn't have the same horrible body feelings with it.
> What is ERT?

Estrogen replacement therapy.

> Do you mind if I ask you how functional you are generally? Are you able to work?

With the oxycontin and klonopin, I've been very functional. I think I need to add an anti-depressant because I think if I don't, I will be more likely to need to increase my opiate dose. So far, it's been about six weeks and no tolerance has developed, but I don't know how long that will last. It still is not as good, though, as when nardil worked for me.

I own a small business--I'm a fine arts (sort of) photographer, so I get to totally set my own schedule. I don't, however, have the sense of community in working you refer to. All my work is commissioned and everything is done in my house, except I do make trips to the lab and framing shops quite often. But otherwise I'm here, which has definite advantages and disadvantages. During the worst days of my depression, I have only been able to work because I set my own schedule. When I shoot I am never depressed, no matter how I felt before the shoot. I am really lucky about that. It may have to do with the absolute focus that I must have. But other parts of the work are very difficult for me when I am very depressed.

Clients come here, but much of the time I am alone and I work a lot. It is hard to sort out work time from non-work time when you work at home. But I had a hard time with relationships and bordom when I worked regular jobs--I never learned how to be around someone everyday if there was tension between us and I hate repetition. And when I was depressed, work made me more, not less depressesd. So I am satisfied that this is the best situation for me.

If I had more initiative, I'd try to start a breakfast/brunch club for other people in the arts who work at home, maybe meet once a week. There are business decision that come up that I have to deal with completely by myself, although I do ask my best friend for a lot of advise in dealing with a situation. He's much better than I am at people stuff.

> Shelli--Did you gain weight on SSRI's?

The only SSRIs I've tried for more than two weeks have been prozac, serzone, and luvox. I didn't gain weight on those three, but I've either not been able to take others (effexor, for one), and I've been unwilling to try the newer, weight gainers like remeron, celexa.

> Keep me posted on your Parnate trial.

Well, actually I may try two things first. The estrogen patch, maybe, and I think I will run trying nardil again with cercerta by my pdoc. Nardil, concerta, and oxycontin could be good.

There are a million volunteer things you can do, like even once a week, but I don't know if you can depend on yourself to have that initiative now. I don't have much initiative myself--luckily I don't really have to for my work. I did work very hard (but it was really fun) designing a website for my business and that has proved to a lot more helpful that I had anticipated. I should have done it years ago.

One type of volunteer work I'd like to look into is mediation. Apparently there are both community and court programs that use volunteers. I don't like mindless things (like handing out food) even though I know they are important, so this mediation thing appeals to me because it uses both people and thinking skills. I may look into that after labor day.

Does your pdoc have any preference for nardil or parnate for you? Keep writing...

Take care, Shelli




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