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Re: We're Not Putting Up With You!

Posted by Judy on July 3, 1999, at 16:27:34

In reply to Judy, what that meant was..., posted by Racer on July 3, 1999, at 15:19:51


I knew what you meant, Sweetie, and I wasn't trying to insult you! Tough love is hard to convey in writing, but that's what I was trying to project. Just five weeks ago, I sat in my shrink's office and whispered (because that was all I could manage I was so deep in the black hole) that I didn't want to take AD's anymore - couldn't take the side effects, etc. - and he literally screamed at me (thought he was going to slap me!) to listen to myself with any part of my logical mind that I had left.

Of course I started to cry, but I took the prescription for Nardil (which we both knew had worked well for me before) that he shoved into my hand and he made me promise to fill it and take it immediately or we'd be discussing ECT or hospitalization. I did what he said because I didn't know what else to do; and soon I was feeling well enough to make my own decisions again.

My heart just breaks every time I read your posts about your incompetent doctor, your being "put on hold," the distance you are from more competent medical help. I wish I could drive to where you are, pick you up and help you find someone, somewhere who would give you the time, respect and help you deserve. I don't think there's a person on this bulletin board who doesn't feel the same way and isn't frustrated to death by your inability to get someone competent to listen to you. Your situation is truly deplorable and if you can dredge up the " oomph" at some point, I'd definitely advise that you call in some legal 'heat' or at least report these people to whomever their "Grand Poobah" is (There must be some kind of regulatory agency in charge of all these oafs, isn't there?).

I did read your later post (I think we were on at the same time) and I'm relieved to find there is someone there for you now. Please let him help you. Hopefully even knowing he is there for you may give you some measure of confidence. But the point remains, you've GOT to find someone to help you even if it takes your last ounce of strength.

Nobody here is "putting up with you" - we're all pulling like crazy for you!


> > You need to stop making the excuses of the deeply depressed (you feel you should stick around and empty the kitty litter pans? Racer - look at what your rationale has become!!!) Let someone else take control for a little while. Please?
> >
> > Judy
> >
> Judy,
> By that, I only meant that if the hospital couldn't do anything constructive for me, at least I might finally do something constructive for myself. If I got a little motivation going, I might do some cleaning, and make my life that much better than it would be to come home from the hospital, with nothing changed, and the living room needing to be vacuumed and the cat boxes needing to be cleaned and the dishes needing to be washed still. Does that make any sense?
> I did call the hospital last night. If you read my earlier post this morning, it tells the story. The fellow I spoke with told me again that medications would not be adjusted during a hospital stay, and that it wouldn't make any difference in getting to see a new doctor. Everything he said left me with the impression that it really wouldn't make a difference, except that I wouldn't have the options available to me here: sewing, smoking when I want to, cuddling my cats, cleaning the house, calling someone, or writing to all of you. Writing here does help, and I can express myself much better in writing than in person. In person, I'm a little inarticulate. OK, so a lot inarticulate. Even though Annie said she could see me interviewing the doctors in the hospital intake about my treatment, that's most unlikely! Made me laugh, since I tend to hide a lot in those situations. It's hard for me to show any signs of intelligence in person. In writing, it's a lot easier.
> Thank you again for what you've had to say. I do hear it. Unfortunately, I also hear what the people at the hospital had to say last night on the telephone: don't come in, we won't help you.
> That's not a misperception, either. We are talking about a county hospital which is only in the business of warehousing the sickest of the sick. They only take people they deem a danger to themselves or others, and since their space is so limited, they tend to take those who are a danger to others before they worry about those of us who might be a danger to ourselves. The fact that I'm still well enough to reach out for help, rather than doing something to harm myself is enough for them to send me home. They said so last time I went up there, about four weeks ago. They sent me home then, saying that they couldn't do anything for me in the hospital, despite the fact that I was crying copiously on the sofa of the office, and begging them to help me. They still said that there was nothing they could do for me there, and that I'd have to work it out with the doctor I was seeing already.
> Short of finding a lawyer to put the fear of Insurance into them, I don't know what else I can do. I'm trying to hold on until something happens, and I really do appreciate the lifeline I have found here.
> Thank you to everyone, and please put up with me a little longer.




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