Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Judy, what that meant was...

Posted by Racer on July 3, 1999, at 15:19:51

In reply to Re: Almost 'don't' count, posted by Judy on July 3, 1999, at 12:17:38

> You need to stop making the excuses of the deeply depressed (you feel you should stick around and empty the kitty litter pans? Racer - look at what your rationale has become!!!) Let someone else take control for a little while. Please?
> Judy

By that, I only meant that if the hospital couldn't do anything constructive for me, at least I might finally do something constructive for myself. If I got a little motivation going, I might do some cleaning, and make my life that much better than it would be to come home from the hospital, with nothing changed, and the living room needing to be vacuumed and the cat boxes needing to be cleaned and the dishes needing to be washed still. Does that make any sense?

I did call the hospital last night. If you read my earlier post this morning, it tells the story. The fellow I spoke with told me again that medications would not be adjusted during a hospital stay, and that it wouldn't make any difference in getting to see a new doctor. Everything he said left me with the impression that it really wouldn't make a difference, except that I wouldn't have the options available to me here: sewing, smoking when I want to, cuddling my cats, cleaning the house, calling someone, or writing to all of you. Writing here does help, and I can express myself much better in writing than in person. In person, I'm a little inarticulate. OK, so a lot inarticulate. Even though Annie said she could see me interviewing the doctors in the hospital intake about my treatment, that's most unlikely! Made me laugh, since I tend to hide a lot in those situations. It's hard for me to show any signs of intelligence in person. In writing, it's a lot easier.

Thank you again for what you've had to say. I do hear it. Unfortunately, I also hear what the people at the hospital had to say last night on the telephone: don't come in, we won't help you.

That's not a misperception, either. We are talking about a county hospital which is only in the business of warehousing the sickest of the sick. They only take people they deem a danger to themselves or others, and since their space is so limited, they tend to take those who are a danger to others before they worry about those of us who might be a danger to ourselves. The fact that I'm still well enough to reach out for help, rather than doing something to harm myself is enough for them to send me home. They said so last time I went up there, about four weeks ago. They sent me home then, saying that they couldn't do anything for me in the hospital, despite the fact that I was crying copiously on the sofa of the office, and begging them to help me. They still said that there was nothing they could do for me there, and that I'd have to work it out with the doctor I was seeing already.

Short of finding a lawyer to put the fear of Insurance into them, I don't know what else I can do. I'm trying to hold on until something happens, and I really do appreciate the lifeline I have found here.

Thank you to everyone, and please put up with me a little longer.




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