![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 2:45:18
I just finished 2 years in therapy, everything went well until about 3 months ago when my optimism started declining until it became blatant negativity. I never noticed how much i changed because I believed my negativity was founded by my lack of money, i was going to get paid for a project and it got delayd those 3 months.
Aditionally, I am movint out of town so therapy termination was inminent, i dealt with it the wrong way, the last 2 weeks (i went 3 times per week) i was even indirectly critiquing her methods and she was mildly confronting me. Then it blew up.
During a session a week before the scheduled departure she kicked me out of therapy because she was not willing to deal with my negativity, 10 minutes earlier she had threathen me to kick me out according to her, but I read it as a legitimate question as if that was what I was looking for, so I didnt see it coming.
I had written her a letter the day before but she hadnt read it by the time i went to therapy that day, i was frustrated the day before so I sent that email, and when i got to therapy that day i got frustrated even more that she had not read it. That got to do with my outburst i think.
I wrote another email telling her how awful i felt and that i needed to know whats going on and to apologize for my behaviour, which was still unclear to me, i was assuming she was 100% right and i was 100% wrong. So she accepted my request to go to a session again and I apologized again. I have no access or permission to really talk to her, she does not talk about her, ever. I was limited to explain my side of things, that I was looking for a symbolic goodbye hug, or a pat in the back, and I got needy, and she refused to divert from structured therapy, said I was trying to make the rules. But painfully for me that session ended with me being a manipulative and insensitive person again, thats the summary of all.
A couple days later I start to realize the punishment is wildly uncalled for, I had no intentions of ever offending her or making her feel bad in any way, I was lost, I never planned anything, I was numb (by choice i admit) until i got money to start my life again, a pessimistic posture yes, but it does not mean I am a monster.
Why is she making me feel that way? Here i am thinking i have no soul, and that she thinks I was coming on to her, that im a pervert. Because I told her I was subconciously trying to make the rules bend on my side to get some sympathy from her, I made an analogy on another email that i felt like a street dog, shy, looking for some attention from anyone, to be pet, sadly submissive to the point that makes you want to kick him, put him out of his misery, I also mentioned she had what I needed.
So now i think she constructed a whole sexual manipulation scheme from my part, because of the petting and my needs, and because of certain things i said in session, like my frustrated fantasy to get that hug.
It feels like absolute hell having to explain via email to someone that you are not a pervert even if you are not sure thats what she is thinking, to have to explain yourself `just in case'.. mainly because she has shut you out and has build an aura around herself that the though of contacting her is so out of line its unbearable, because she is so righteous and i am a piece of scum, my neediness to correct this will only add to that.
Never again will I submit to anyone like i did to her, at least she made that happen. At first I thought I was going to be able to avoid suffering from this simply by letting time pass and watching tv, movies, avoidint the issue as I always do with my problems, but i feel the scar forming somewhere inside me, I cant let it go, but i cant solve it either.
Now i have to go to another therapist just to understand what happened on that last episode. I have an urge to know to what extent she was entitled to terminate therapy like that, 1 week before the scheduled ending, on such a negative note, summarizing it all into "i dont have to forgive you, you have to deal with yourself and your issues" as she stands by the door... but thats not the worst part, at that point i was still convinced she was entitled to do that so i replied
Me: "can i come later?
Her: We are not going to solve this in 2 weeks
Me: no, i mean later, in time.
Her: well, therapy is over... but, i dont know, we'll see.She said that with the most careless and righteous attitude, like a 13 year old girl.
What to do? well, i need a couple sessions with a different therapist to figure a big chunk of this, and I need to know why i resist to blame her as she deserves.
Comments are welcome.
Posted by eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 3:04:34
In reply to Bad therapy ending, posted by eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 2:45:18
My main question here is.. is there something about her behaviour that could be considered standard termination? im ok with her admiting i cant be helped at the moment, but why does it have to end this way?
She asked me sometime before if i had an enemy. Ive never had one, i avoid conflict at all cost. Is she positioning herself as such for some reason? im not excusing her... but is it valid to become one to your patient? is that what i need?
Is there ever grounds for bad terminations? are those sometimes planned to happen that way?
Posted by nellie7 on December 18, 2007, at 10:08:16
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 3:04:34
Hi Eltero,
I am sorry about the bad termination and the fact that you were hurt by the way your therapist handled it. That kind of thing really makes one feel bad.
Something similar happened to me once and I can understand why you feel the need to try to clear things up by talking to another T.
While it is difficult to know why your T reacted the way she did, one possibility ( based on an attempt to understand my personal experience) is that some therapists try to change what appears to be self-defeating patterns of behavior by making harsh or even shocking remarks. Perhaps they assume that such statements will jolt the patient into some kind of insight regarding the need to change something. In my opinion, that is never the way to go about it, since the severity of the effect on the patient should not be presumed. Besides, "problematic" traits or behavior are part of the patient's difficulties and are a source of his suffering They are not in his awareness, much less in his control.
Another possible explanation is that your therapist's reaction was due to countertransference and was triggered by her own difficulties or sensitivities.
You asked if it is possible that she was positioning herself to be your "enemy". It seems too risky on her part to attempt something like that without taking into account the possibility (or probability?) that you would interpret her behavior as proof of your being "a monster". So I don't know.
Perhaps it is really a good idea to go to several sessions with another therapist. And don't blame yourself. There is no justification for her to make you feel bad about yourself, as you had no negative intentions and did nothing wrong.
Take care,
Nellie.
Posted by nellie7 on December 18, 2007, at 10:14:47
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by nellie7 on December 18, 2007, at 10:08:16
Posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 11:25:03
In reply to Bad therapy ending, posted by eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 2:45:18
>.. i dealt with it the wrong way...
It is good you see you dealt with something the wrong way. Which way had you wanted to deal with it?
>she kicked me out of therapy because she was not willing to deal with my negativity, 10 minutes earlier she had threathen me to kick me out according to her, but I read it as a legitimate question as if that was what I was looking for, so I didnt see it coming.
Well, I am surprised to read this. How horrible were you? Doesnt' sound too professional to kick you out just because you were expressing negativity. You two should have talked about why you were being so negative. Read what as a legitimate question? And didn't see what coming?
>to explain my side of things, that I was looking for a symbolic goodbye hug, or a pat in the back, and I got needy, and she refused to divert from structured therapy...
What did she say when you told her you were looking for a symbolic goodbye hug, etc. Why symbolic? Or did you really mean you wanted it for real. Being honest with yourself first is always good. Again though, I see her a bit at fault for not addressing this feeling of yours.
>But painfully for me that session ended with me being a manipulative and insensitive person again, thats the summary of all.
Why do you say this? What did you really do to be manipulative and insensitive. Were you really or is that just your perception?
>A couple days later I start to realize the punishment is wildly uncalled for..
Punishment? Therapy is not about punishment. Interesting you think in terms of her punishing you.
>Why is she making me feel that way?
People do things, how you feel about what they do is your own reaction. Maybe you should ask why are you making yourself feel the way you do about her.
>explain via email to someone that you are not a pervert even if you are not sure thats what she is thinking,...
Good point, you aren't sure that is what she is thinking so don't automatically assume that is what she is thinking. Those are your thoughts, not hers.
>because she is so righteous and i am a piece of scum...
Who says you are a piece of scum?
>well, i need a couple sessions with a different therapist to figure a big chunk of this...
You talk about seeing another therapist to try to figure out why she did what she did or said what she said. Think about that. The only person that knows for certain that knows these things is the therapist. So, it is probably a better idea to see another therapist if you want to sort out your own feelings of what happened, but don't expect you will find out what is in her head unless she tells you.
I am sorry it didn't go well. For whatever reasons, it sounds like you and the therapist were working at cross purposes at the end there. If it were me, I would ask for one more session to ask some specific questions from the therapist and to clear up an misconceptions - that is, if the therapist was also open to doing the same.
Posted by Eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 13:46:47
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending » eltoro, posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 11:25:03
> >.. i dealt with it the wrong way...
>
> It is good you see you dealt with something the wrong way. Which way had you wanted to deal with it?------------------------------------------
I told her in my last email i wish I had left earlier and thanked her for everything, because i had nothing left to say, my reasoning was "its my fault to be this negative, there is no reason to contaminate therapy with this, i know i have to deal with it". I also mentioned in therapy how I felt an urge to "NOT give her credit for my acomplishments", similar to what happens with my friends, i started to feel her very much like them, telling me the obvious things but not really caring that much, what i didnt mention was that I thought it was weird and wrong and I knew it, i DID want to give her credit and become a decent guy for all the people that has supported me in my life, including her. But she interpreted that as an agression i think.
----------------------------------->
> >she kicked me out of therapy because she was not willing to deal with my negativity, 10 minutes earlier she had threathen me to kick me out according to her, but I read it as a legitimate question as if that was what I was looking for, so I didnt see it coming.
>
> Well, I am surprised to read this. How horrible were you? Doesnt' sound too professional to kick you out just because you were expressing negativity. You two should have talked about why you were being so negative. Read what as a legitimate question? And didn't see what coming?--------------------------------------------
She told me something like "your negativity is offensive, sometimes people cant handle goodyes, do you want to be kicked out?". And a bit later I said "I just dont see why you are so fixated in not giving me what i need, we are people, i want to know that therapy was more than giving prepared advice as if it comes from my operating manual, and to aknowledge you are part of this bad experience too".She: "do you want me to act like a mom?"
Me: no, but.. i dont know.. maybe..
She: "i think therapy is over, i am not willing to come here and be offended like this, you dont care for people, and I cant deal with this, you owe me $xx.xx, goodbye" (i didnt see this coming).Its not nearly exact, its all fuzzy in my mind, just big chunks of what i remember. She probably interpreted my "no, i dont know, maybe.." as a request for intimacy, maybe even sexual. In my mind I just wanted a hug or a pat in the back, i could see how she could make the mistake tho.
She shuts me out entirely for even sugest getting a peek of her feelings and then kicks me out for not caring about other peoples feelings.
------------------------------->
> >to explain my side of things, that I was looking for a symbolic goodbye hug, or a pat in the back, and I got needy, and she refused to divert from structured therapy...
>
> What did she say when you told her you were looking for a symbolic goodbye hug, etc. Why symbolic? Or did you really mean you wanted it for real. Being honest with yourself first is always good. Again though, I see her a bit at fault for not addressing this feeling of yours.---------------------------------
I told her it was symbolic the session she allowed me to come back and explain myself, she told me it my fantasy hug "story" looked clearly manipulative. It was symbolic because a real one was out of the question, she had a way to make me feel like that at that point, I also told her i gave up on that fantasy, but i had constructed another one even less ambitious (or more pathetic) that that one, in which we ran into each other later in life and she greeted me, in a public event, we say hi for a minute or two and thats it. And that i was hanging on to this ridicule fantasy, defending it from being destroyed too (along with the last pieces of my dignity).
------------------------------------------->
> >But painfully for me that session ended with me being a manipulative and insensitive person again, thats the summary of all.
>
> Why do you say this? What did you really do to be manipulative and insensitive. Were you really or is that just your perception?---------------------------------
Thats what i felt she told me i was after i tried to explain my actions not knowing exactly what I was apologizing for (now i guess she assumed i was ok'ing all her assumptions, well I DID ok'ed them by apologizing unconditionally).I was unconciously manipulative, but the reason was to defend my last piece of dignity by mantaining my fantasy alive, the idea that i could bump into her and be greeted, treated like a decent man. She thought i was being nasty. Or.. she was trying to show me how submissive and pathetic i was being, in a horrible way. I am no white sheep, i did in fact had sexual fantasies about her in addition to the most natural ones i explained, but i search really deep on this and I really feel thats not what i was thinking when the critical events happened, i truly just wanted sympathy from her, and kept pushing for it all the time without realizing i was.
She always had problems understanding how I could separate my concious and subconscious wishes and behaviours, how I could do one thing but feel another, part of it because she is a woman and men are more used to doing this, for example, we have sex with strangers (conciously) and then feel guilty about it (because our subconsious thought it was a bad idea all along), women have a harder time separating that.
----------------------------------------
>
> >A couple days later I start to realize the punishment is wildly uncalled for..
>
> Punishment? Therapy is not about punishment. Interesting you think in terms of her punishing you.-------------------------------
She is punishing me for the manifestation of my unconcious wishes, which she misinterpreted. I understand how she mishandled that, and when all this happened a week ago, i even justified her. Not anymore, she made bad interpretations and its her fault, not mine.
---------------------------------------->
> >Why is she making me feel that way?---- Read above
>
> People do things, how you feel about what they do is your own reaction. Maybe you should ask why are you making yourself feel the way you do about her.
>
> >explain via email to someone that you are not a pervert even if you are not sure thats what she is thinking,...
>
> Good point, you aren't sure that is what she is thinking so don't automatically assume that is what she is thinking. Those are your thoughts, not hers.
>
> >because she is so righteous and i am a piece of scum...
>
> Who says you are a piece of scum?-------------------------------
I do, it seems. She just banked on it and washed her hands. Feeling-wise i think i rather commit to that point of view, thinking thats what she thinks of me I can handle, but if she is doing this because a textbook says thats how pathetic needy patients should be handled, that i would never forgive, i cant accept she wins both ways doing whats right clinically and getting rid of me for life at the same time, i cant handle that, its scarring me inside. Im a nice guy who shuts himself in and has hurt people close to him by being so passive and apathetic, and who has done wrong things (nothing illegal), but i am resisting to admit i need something like this to help me 'function' properly.
----------------------------------------->
> >well, i need a couple sessions with a different therapist to figure a big chunk of this...
>
> You talk about seeing another therapist to try to figure out why she did what she did or said what she said. Think about that. The only person that knows for certain that knows these things is the therapist. So, it is probably a better idea to see another therapist if you want to sort out your own feelings of what happened, but don't expect you will find out what is in her head unless she tells you.
>
> I am sorry it didn't go well. For whatever reasons, it sounds like you and the therapist were working at cross purposes at the end there. If it were me, I would ask for one more session to ask some specific questions from the therapist and to clear up an misconceptions - that is, if the therapist was also open to doing the same.
>-----------------------------------
She is not open, i think i would have to beg for another session, we were in cross purposes at the end, that triggered it because she called me stubborn and i call her stubborn back, that sparked it. I cant go and humilliate myself one more time, its too risky for me at this point. I sent my email and i will probably send another one in the future if this does not end well, probably a short and educated, but yet a spiteful one.Thanks for your comments, i cant tell you how much it means to me to have a chance to ventilate this a bit more, because I have no trust in my own criteria lately, i need to 'bounce' my ideas with some form of reality.
So thank you again, its really what i would expect to get from visiting another therapist, i know i wont know what she thinks until she tells me (she wont), i wanted to go to therapy to put my ideas together and see if I can make a more solid resolution of all this, for myself.
--------------------------------------
Posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 17:52:04
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by Eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 13:46:47
>She: "do you want me to act like a mom?"
Me: no, but.. i dont know.. maybe..
She: "i think therapy is over, i am not willing to come here and be offended like this, you dont care for people, and I cant deal with this, you owe me $xx.xx, goodbye" (i didnt see this coming).Despite your saying there was strict therapy boundaries, this exchange sounds like something went very personal somewhere along the way.
In any case, it makes me wonder about her qualifications and experience. In therapy, people express all kinds of feelings and needs. An experienced and well versed therapist/psychologist would not take those feelings and thoughts too personally, or at least would point out where your feelings and thoughts are inappropriate and get you back on track to what your issues are or have you explore them in more detail and how they relate to you and your background(not themselves).
As noted, it sounds things got very personal, where they shouldn't have. How it got that way, I don't know. The onus is on the professional, though, to not let it get personal and to keep things in perspective. Of course, they are only human and can make mistakes.
>Thanks for your comments, i cant tell you how much it means to me to have a chance to ventilate this a bit more... i wanted to go to therapy to put my ideas together and see if I can make a more solid resolution of all this...
I hope you find what you need if you search out another therapist, to ventilate and understand better what this means to you.
> i know i wont know what she thinks until she tells me (she wont)...
And that is the way it goes sometimes. Sometimes we never get answers or confirmations to our questions. We can only examine ourselves and operate differently and better in future.
Posted by raisinb on December 18, 2007, at 18:05:00
In reply to Bad therapy ending, posted by eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 2:45:18
Eltoro--
I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I know the pain will last for awhile.
For what it's worth, from what I can piece together from your posts, she screwed up bigtime--by letting her own feelings/reactions get out of hand.
It probably feels like the only way you can "fix" the pain is to get her to tell you why she did it, in a way that makes sense to you. But like you said, trying to get more from her might just open you up to more pain.
There are many very good therapists out there, and you can find one who is a better fit for you.
I don't know what all went on in your therapy, but expressing negativity is NOT wrong. Neither are fantasies--sexual OR nonsexual--about your T. All this is common and something Ts are trained to deal with. Please don't feel like you did something wrong for being sad, angry, needy, or sexually attracted with your T.
Posted by rskontos on December 18, 2007, at 18:56:45
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by raisinb on December 18, 2007, at 18:05:00
Eltoro, There are books dedicated to the subject of transference and how to handle it. I think she crossed the line and then turned around and blamed it on your shoulders. What you described does not sound right. It sounds very wrong. And I am negative all the time to my T. we work on being negative. My T told me to tell her when I want a hug as she knows I would flip if she tried to hug me. I argue with her and I have emailed her to dump her. I have yelled not at her but parts of me but yelled at someone in her office. I have told her I didn't agree with her. That is negative isn't it. She just tells me how else I can look at the situation. If a person with mental issues can't be negative then all therapists would be out of work really quick I think. because to me being depressed is negative. So what was she thinking. And how long has she been a T. I think her feelings were more involved than she cared and she reacted emotional not therapist like.
JMHO....rk
Posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 19:03:00
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by rskontos on December 18, 2007, at 18:56:45
>If a person with mental issues can't be negative then all therapists would be out of work really quick I think.
Rsk, just wanted to say that made me LOL. So true - we don't exactly go into sessions all chipper and happy. lol.
Posted by Eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 20:08:38
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 19:03:00
Thanks guys.
I improved a lot in 2 years thanks to her, i was almost ready to be happy at 32 years old, but I was very negative this last 2 months, and seldom said things that could be offensive if taken out of context, some were just offensive by mistake, i was distracted and unaware of her feelings because I didnt want to know her feelings, because the only thing I would have seen is a reflection of myself i didnt want to see: pity, loserness (i made up a word, yay), a pathetic individual sitting in front of her, so I avoided being in a position to get some feedback. She did try to snap me out of it, but I was mainly negative or apathetic in return. I was downright cynical about my negativity at the end, just trying to figure out a way to end therapy on a positive note (hence the hug and greeting fantasies).
In her defense.. when she said "do you want me to act like a mom?" she was being sarcastic, well, actually, it doesnt make it that much better, but she was tired already of me pushing to one area (personal) and her bringing me back to structured therapy, and altough I didnt know at that point, she thought i was coming on to her or something.
Its really tough to look at this clearly, she is a good therapist, she just fumbled the footbal on the 4th quarter, bad. And I cared for her a lot, its sort of like trying to picture your brother as a murderer, you just cant no matter how much blood he has on his hands (and the dead body).
I remember often making comments that could be offensive if taken out of context, and I had a habit of sometimes keep things ambiguous, so she wouldnt figure me out and then point out she was wrong about it. And its true, i take people for granted, my fear of humilliation and of getting hurt makes me wary of people so i have a hard time opening up and I dont try to get people to open up either, it feels like im prying or forcing things.
I am not suffering, except on this issue, it does keep my busy at night and in the morning, i cant close it. But I know I can get over it if I try, but i feel the urge to make this count for something, to change in some aspects, even the ones she pointed out. I felt like selling my car and running to europe for a while, or to move out of town anticipatedly, and now I am finding my confort zone again, being my own enemy of sorts. :(
Maybe she is right and I am too manipulative and crafty to make the world accomodate to my needs, my subconcious needs for empathy and peace of mind, because frankly, i feel terrible inside, and I know i have to do some changes, but deeper inside i just cant bear someone disliking me that much, someone i care for, i have fantasies about smoothing things up with her, instead of trying to live with that. All i know is if i choose to live with this, i will always be resentful of her, and I dont like that idea either.
Its like a bad break up, and I cant get out of it no matter how bad it hurts, i have the urge to come back and fix it, except im the only one interested in fixing it, so im screwed.
Well, thanks again. Ill update if i find a new therapist.
Posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 20:32:32
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by Eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 20:08:38
>Its really tough to look at this clearly
Yes. Something(s) got blurred along the way. Hard to assign fault (yours/hers) when things get blurry.
Posted by Eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 21:29:18
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending » Eltoro, posted by lovelorn on December 18, 2007, at 20:32:32
Its hard to assign faults when she wont aknowledge her own mistakes, or my suffering in the first place.
Posted by nellie7 on December 19, 2007, at 13:15:09
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by Eltoro on December 18, 2007, at 20:08:38
> >
> Its like a bad break up, and I cant get out of it no matter how bad it hurts, i have the urge to come back and fix it, except im the only one interested in fixing it, so im screwed.
>Eltoro-
Being in the same situation, I can understand how you feel. It really hurts -on one hand wanting to clear things up in order to stop being confused and haunted by the bad feelings, and knowing on the other hand that a request to speak to the T will result only in rejection and additional pain.
Good luck in finding a new T.Nellie.
Posted by Eltoro on December 20, 2007, at 2:53:46
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by nellie7 on December 19, 2007, at 13:15:09
Eltoro-
> Being in the same situation, I can understand how you feel. It really hurts -on one hand wanting to clear things up in order to stop being confused and haunted by the bad feelings, and knowing on the other hand that a request to speak to the T will result only in rejection and additional pain.
> Good luck in finding a new T.
>
> Nellie.
>
>
Thanks Nellie, did you post your case in here? could you direct me to it? I came here because I googled "bad therapy ending", and i read a case similar to mine.I already have the phone number of a new therapist, a ver famous one.. :p ... i think i am going to make an appointment with her and then when i get it, im gonna call my old therapist to see if she has calmed down or not, if i have the courage to do it.(i chosed another woman so she can emphatize with my regular therapist better).
Posted by nellie7 on December 20, 2007, at 11:56:29
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by Eltoro on December 20, 2007, at 2:53:46
Hi Eltoro,
I'm glad to hear you have the number of a new T. As for your former one, it may be a good idea to try to call her, but be prepared for a harsh response and make sure you are ready and strong enough to "absorb" such a reaction.
I wrote a little about my case several years ago under another name though I doubt that's what you found through google:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/217069.html
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Nellie.
Posted by Eltoro on December 20, 2007, at 13:09:13
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending » Eltoro, posted by nellie7 on December 20, 2007, at 11:56:29
Wow, now i feel like a wimp. Your therapist was worse than mine.
What happened with that? how did it end? That guy was mean. How did you manage to heal from that?
I hope you did something about it that gave you some relief.
Posted by nellie7 on December 21, 2007, at 7:20:40
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by Eltoro on December 20, 2007, at 13:09:13
Eltoro, I don't think my T was worse than yours. I think that any T who behaves in a way which results in the client feeling extremely bad about himself, upset and confused, and allows no opportunity to clear things up is mistaken in his/her approach.
In my case I am beginning to understand that he probably had good intentions but was presumptuous in assuming that I was sane or intelligent enough to understand what he was doing. I still don't and wish I could speak to him again. He probably doesn't remember what went on but I have everything about the sessions written down and can ask him what he means when he uses certain statements. However, as of now a harsh response on his part would be too much for me and I have reason to believe he wouldn't see me anyway.
How are you dealing with what happened with your T? I hope you are feeling better about yourself.Take care,
Nellie.
Posted by Eltoro on December 22, 2007, at 2:17:49
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by nellie7 on December 21, 2007, at 7:20:40
well, it seems its over, i called her but didnt leave a message on the machine, and i thought she may call me back if she looked on her ID caller. But she didnt.
She hurt me real bad, i didnt need this. Im fine, but there is a part of me thats really closing up even more, its beyond my logic to understand this, sometimes i get a grasp of her behaviour and understand it, but then again, she is the professional therapist, and there is no reason for me to feel this confused. I go out with people and stuff, but i feel half a man, like my mind is somewhere else, and i know its literally trying to figure this out. Why there was a thousand ways to finish treatment and yet she chose this way?
Why send me that message that im an incorregible social monster? And why didnt i see it this way when she sold me that idea.
Its just rethoric, no need to answer it. :p
Nellie, you seem like a very interesting person, I hope you are advancing and improving with or without therapy. I like your unique vision.
Good luck.
Posted by nellie7 on December 22, 2007, at 10:45:57
In reply to Re: Bad therapy ending, posted by Eltoro on December 22, 2007, at 2:17:49
> well, it seems its over, i called her but didnt leave a message on the machine, and i thought she may call me back if she looked on her ID caller. But she didnt.
Did she usually call back even if you left no message while you were in therapy?
> She hurt me real bad, i didnt need this. Im fine, but there is a part of me thats really closing up even more, its beyond my logic to understand this, sometimes i get a grasp of her behaviour and understand it, but then again, she is the professional therapist, and there is no reason for me to feel this confused. I go out with people and stuff, but i feel half a man, like my mind is somewhere else, and i know its literally trying to figure this out. Why there was a thousand ways to finish treatment and yet she chose this way?
I agree with you. This is definitely not the way.
> Why send me that message that im an incorregible social monster? And why didnt i see it this way when she sold me that idea.
>
> Its just rethoric, no need to answer it. :p
>
> Nellie, you seem like a very interesting person, I hope you are advancing and improving with or without therapy. I like your unique vision.Thank you, Eltoro. You seem very interesting too. I hope you manage to get over this soon. Please keep in mind that you are a good and kind person and try not to let what your T did affect you. I know it's easier said than done...
Take care,
Nellie.
This is the end of the thread.
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