Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 3:10:13
In reply to Re: » Estella, posted by susan47 on August 4, 2006, at 1:01:31
> Well, yes .. and the work with females, did it resolve these issues with men?
Well... Therapy isn't just about that. Yeah I have issues around guys. But I also have issues around a whole heap of other stuff. Social anxiety and anxiety in general and not being as productive as I would like. I guess I'm focusing on that more immediate stuff at present. Then there is the stuff further back... There are the flashbacks there are the insecurities more generally there are the issues with feeling like the world would prefer not to have me in it. There are issues with the voices... Though... To be fair mostly I think I have that sorted fairly managably. Whatever I learn about dealing with other people I can apply to them too...
So progress is being made. But it is hard. And it is different. I guess the different theorietical orientation makes it a bit different too. The p-docs were more psychodynamic and so talking a bit about past stuff. Talking about stuff that... I can't really remember. Talking about my conception of the voices and stuff like that. Now... There is more focus on the present on the here and now. Trauma involves past ruminations yes but there are ways of strengthening your ability to not get caught in it. How much does processing it how much does talking about it help one move through and beyond it? Well... The jury is still out on that one.
> With, for example, the feeling of being unacceptable to them or laughable or unattractive or totally always being judged by them?
Is that just how you feel around men, or is it how you feel about people more generally?
> I am the only person I am not hard enough on.
I don't think being hard on yourself is likely to result in your feeling any better or likely to result in your doing anything better... Rather I think that being hard on yourself is likely to make things a whole heap worse. Sometimes... It is kindness that is the cure. Being kind to ourselves. Having other people around who are kind to us.
> But we haven't really chatted much at all.
Alex.
I'm glad you are going to get some help. You are doing okay you know. Sounds like reaching out for a little help is taking care of yourself. Sounds like you are doing what you need to take care of yourself about now. Sometimes... We need a little help. Sometimes... Everybody needs a little help. I don't think there is any shame in that. We are social animals. We are supposed to be social. We are supposed to be able to rely on others a little and have others who rely on us a little. Part of people being inter-dependent and inter-connected like we are inter-dependent and inter-connected with our greater environment. symbiotic relationships... homeostasis... my buzzwords for the week. emotions are... the body registering that one isn't in homeostasis... drives are... desires / urges / motivations to return to homeostasis. i do find peace sometimes...(((((((Susan))))))))
You are a beautiful person Susan...
poster:Estella
thread:672459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/673531.html