Posted by susan47 on August 4, 2006, at 1:01:31
In reply to Re: » susan47, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 0:29:54
Well, yes .. and the work with females, did it resolve these issues with men? With, for example, the feeling of being unacceptable to them or laughable or unattractive or totally always being judged by them? Because that's just some of the feelings that came up in "therapy" - yes, let's all laugh a bit - yes, nobody called it therapy at the time .. oh man I am so hard on everybody.
Everybody.
Nobody gets away with it, except me. I am the only person I am not hard enough on.
Oh man.
I'm going around in circles, again ... but why are you putting so much energy into this, my God your answer was so intense and I thank you for it. For the intensity. For the understanding. But we haven't really chatted much at all.
I'm going to be going to see someone else, a team of psych and social worker I believe. A fast track thingie and I don't even care, anymore, and I honestly never thought this would ever happen, and all I can say is, hallelujah thank God it has finally happened, it has actually happened, that I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS, ANYMORE.
I don't care who knows I need help and I don't care how f*cked-up I seem, I probably am. And there's nothing I can do about that until someone else helps me. I can't do it. I never could. That has to be okay. That has to be okay. Listen Estella, I'm sorry to keep making this mine, to keep making this about me, to seem to be glossing over what you've written, but that's not the case. I'm just really upset, not doing well, alone and lonely and trying to not feel this bad.
poster:susan47
thread:672459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/673517.html