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Re: I just want to cry

Posted by alexandra_k on June 2, 2005, at 3:20:26

In reply to I just want to cry, posted by alexandra_k on May 27, 2005, at 2:35:56

...and there it is again.
Though really, I don't think it went away
But its back again most definately now.
Maybe I'm depressed.
Hmm.
I don't know how that is supposed to help.
I feel all sad inside.
Strangely enough...
Its not so bad.
I know I used to get into these real bad places where I felt so very intensely bad. That doesn't really seem to happen anymore.
Sadness.
Well.
Its okay compared to that.
I let myself cry
When nobodies looking.
I don't know that I feel better for it
But I think it needs to come out.
Its just hard sometimes
The thoughts
Hard not to get mad
Hard not to get mad at people.
But I don't want to feel mad
Sads okay
Mads not so nice
I don't like feeling angry.
And I'm rambling.
The boards have been really quiet today.
Hope everyone had a nice day
Im going to go to bed and cry...
one week to go

And what is it???
What is wrong???
Hmm.
I remember how I felt when I was a kid
And I feel sad now.
I see that I'm pretty much a loner
That I prefer things that way
That I actively avoid people
And don't go to social stuff that I could / should
And that thats what I choose to do
But that I feel lonely an awful lot too
And its probably something to do with that.
That I don't have a therapist.
That I'll probably never have a therapist.
That they never did send me the letter to tell me that.
That I did get dumped
I did get dumped from the service
All I got was an assessment
A bit fat sh*t of a pre-existing condition
Termination.
How did he help me again?
I just don't see it.
But I really shouldn't think those thoughts.
Sads ok
Its not that bad
But I do seem to spend an awful lot of my life crying.
I think I am depressed
But there isn't anything to be done..

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:503517
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050513/msgs/506693.html