Posted by marjorie on January 4, 2005, at 12:50:52
Hi -- I am extremely new to this, and in fact, I still can't even really believe I'm doing this. Part of me still doesn't really want to admit that I have a problem with alcohol. But the rational part of my brain knows that I do and that it's not good for me and that I need to take steps to do something about it.
I stumbled on this board by accident when I was still toying with the idea of accepting that I have a problem, and in reading some of the posts I came across, it hit me pretty hard that when some of you describe yourselves and the way you drink and what you are going through, you are describing me. That was pretty hard to dismiss. I think it really helped me to be able to be an "outside observer" and read about real people who are having some of the same real problems that I am having and I finally came to the conclusion that if you have found the strength to do something about it, then I can too.
Therefore, I want to post here myself and say thank you to those of you who have already helped me without even knowing it. I would very much like to become part of this community and continue to benefit from your support and experience and hopefully be able to provide some of it myself at some point.
I am a 32 year old wife and mother and a secret drinker. Over the course of the last few years I have gone from being a "social" drinker, to being pretty much dependent on drinking every day. I recognize now that it started out as a way to numb myself to stressful things that were going on in my life, but then everything became an excuse to drink. Drink because I'm happy, drink because I'm unhappy, drink because I'm stressed, drink because I'm with a group, drink because I'm alone, etc. There was no end in sight.
I can tell that this is beginning to have an effect on both my physical and mental health, as well as being quite expensive. I have managed to keep my drinking a secret so I don't want to depend on my friends and family for support, mainly because I'm embarassed.
Today is Day 3 for me, and so far, I feel pretty good. I have had some moments that have been scary, and one thing I would like to know is whether or not some of the symptoms I have been having are caused by alcohol withdrawal or something else. The reason I ask is that I am surrounded by people who have the flu, and I don't know if I'm getting it too. I don't really think so though, because my symptoms are mostly different from theirs.
Thankfully, I have not yet craved a drink. In fact, the thought of drinking turns me off right now. I have had steady headaches, but they are relieved by ipubrofen. I have had what I imagine must be "hot flashes", where all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to catch on fire. I sweat and become short of breath when this happens. I go stand under the fan and it usually goes away in ten or fifteen minutes. I have had insomnia, but I had that before. I don't have the bladder and kidney discomfort that I used to have all the time. I do find that I have more frequent bowel movements. I have moments of irritability, but I had those before. One time, late yesterday, Day 2, I had an extremely dizzy spell that scared me, but it probably lasted only a minute or so.
Is any of this anything to be alarmed about, or is it all par for the course? What else can I expect? What should worry me and what shouldn't? What are some of the things that I can do when these things happen? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have some more of my story to share and some more questions I would like to ask, but I think I'll stop for now since this is already so long and see what kind of response, if any, I get. Thank you for reading all of this, and again, any help at all would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Marjorie
poster:marjorie
thread:437655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041128/msgs/437655.html