Posted by jujube on January 27, 2005, at 15:00:14
In reply to Re: Good job. » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on January 27, 2005, at 14:33:43
I feel much more optimistic this time about staying sober than I ever have before. But I have to say, every now and then that addiction tiger you mentioned shows its face and a horrible thought creeps in...I'm doing everything I know how to do to make this work--what if it doesn't? What the hell do I do then? Doing my best get rid of (or at least ignore) thoughts like that.
Lee,-- You are doing great, and you should be very proud of yourself. This is a one day at a time journey, and you need to celebrate each day you are sober and do your best not dwell on the "what ifs". There were times during the early stages of my sobriety that I struggled with the same thoughts as you. They are not easy, and, yes, they can consume you and can fill you with self-doubt. When I had what I considered self-defeating thoughts, I would do my best to keep myself occupied, but, more importantly, I would remind myself what my life was like before I stopped drinking (the physical discomfort, the emotional pain, and the sense of isolation and allienation that pervaded my life even when I was surrounded by friends and others) and I would think about people I had heard speak/share at AA meetings I had been to who had lost so much (job, friends, family and more) and it would make the choice a no-brainer for me.
As they say in AA, take it easy. Be good to you and remember, "The ox is slow, but the earth is patient".
Tamara
poster:jujube
thread:437655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20041128/msgs/448735.html