Posted by alexandra_k on June 25, 2015, at 23:51:37
In reply to Re: 1 down, 3 to go, posted by alexandra_k on June 25, 2015, at 23:30:52
I think it is partly a climate thing. Our climate is very forgiving. South Pacific Islands. The North of New Zealand. The climate is very temperate. There isn't much need to get up off your *ss and do various things... Food is relatively easy to find. To pick. To pluck from the ocean. It isn't like you need to be out there all day fishing in order to find enough to feed your family. It isn't like you need to work hard all day to make a house so you and your family don't die of exposure. So... Play all day. Just hang about and play all day. And that is what people do.
They call out to each other. I guess because there are trees and stuff on islands. Insofar as people go off to do their own thing they constantly make bird call sort of noises. Expressing that they are okay. I think that is what it is. So you stay in auditory contact. People do that all about the city. Constantly. Through the night. I guess if you don't hear someone for a while you go see if they are okay or if they need help.
I think there is a way of doing your own thing. But it starts with your needing to express remorse or regret that there is a competing SOCIAL demand that requires you to go away. So... People will be understanding if you can't hang out with them because you are hanging out with OTHER PEOPLE. Or if you have to do some kind of a chore for another person.
There was this wonderful essay thing that I read from this girl who is at uni on scholarship. It was about how they were doing maths... And about how one of the problems was hard... And the kids were having a hard time working individually to get the answer. So their teacher started humming / singing to help them feel happy and calm and relaxed... And that got her humming along with the tune..
And her story was pure description. But reading between the lines: It is freaking hard to do maths when people about you freak out about the emotional state that is appropriate to working on a hard problem and when they need to regulate your emotion to a happy not a care in the world state... Where (of course) one is no longer doing maths.
Insert any kind of work... Insert anything that doesn't have a fairly immediate payoff... So hard... To get permission to do it.
Hence 'tall poppy syndrome'. This thing of 'thinks they're better than us' if someone wants to work at something... No understanding that someone might enjoy things like doing puzzles... No comprehension of that at all. Which, of course, makes it fairly impossible that they can identify out the kids who do enjoy such things / who are amenable to learning to enjoy such things. No understanding at all that the LESS socially focused might be ideally placed to focus on other things... Just this desperate thing of 'don't leave me'. I guess. I guess that's it. Convincing them that you would stay with them forever if you could (but competing social demands over here and there...)
Could it be a more alien world for someone like me?
I really don't think so.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1076978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20150604/msgs/1079987.html