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Re: Moving along

Posted by alexandra_k on July 13, 2015, at 19:46:45

In reply to Re: Moving along, posted by alexandra_k on July 13, 2015, at 16:50:30

Okay, so, after a nap and so on, I feel quite a lot better.

I think I have more dorsiflexion since the head of the screw was jamming / preventing that before, and it isn't now. So I have more movement. Which is what I mostly wanted and so that is good.

Seems that they often break. If they are loose / aren't successful in bone fusion. They wiggle about and so on and break. So... Given the extra special efforts that I made over the years to regain as much mobility as I could... And given that it really did feel like I was hitting up on the limits of the screw repeatedly in attempting to gain more mobility... It really is possible that it was pretty close to breaking all by itself, anyways. So... Yeah.

He said something about getting the rest of it being a bit more major excavation... So I guess we will see whether the remainder is an irritant, or not. And I guess it could come out at a later date. Anyway... Yeah... I suspect it bled rather a lot due to my insistance on catching the bus (walking around quite a lot as well), too. I suppose there could be a waterproof dressing under... Anyway... Whatever... I had started to forget how lack of sleep / food can play with your thinking, yeah.

I'm seeing a student advocate person today. If my population health grade isn't changed into some kind of a pass then I really don't have any hope at all of doing med next year. Even if it is changed it looks a bit unlikely... But it really does look impossible without that. So... I most need for there to be a way out where everyone can save face (especially since I need to do the sequel next semester). I don't know that there is one.

I have a lot of empathy for the (significant number of) people in the world who are... declassed. the underclass. yeah. And a significant number of them are Maaori. There are people who kill themselves and so on because they feel devalued and disenfranchised by their own people. I have empathy for them... I have a hell of a lot less empathy for the leader people who seem to be looking out more for themselves than the people they are supposed to be looking after...

I do have a hard time sucking up to authority just because it is authority. Even when it is in my interests. I think there is something selling the soul about it...

It is crazy... Because we are on the same side, I think. Unless their side really is to divert funds into their own mansion in the richer parts of the city in which case I have no empathy for them at all...

Anyway... Otherwise... I do have a lawyer who I've been reccommended. And if we can make a good case for damages they might be willing to represent me. So... That way seems... Most likely to screw everyone over, though. But then depends how resolved they are... If they really have decided to screw me over I have nothing to lose and they should be stopped.

Anyway... Just more pressure tap tap tapping away on my need to manage my time. Study for UMAT, sort this out, start preparing for next week (courses start)...

If I'm being tested because I have a hope in coming out the other side... Then I'm okay. Just knowing that... I'm okay. But if I really don't have a chance... I'd rather quit now. I think that is the hardest thing about this year. Every year subsequent you know they have invested in you and they want you to succeed. This year... I feel like there are people who want me to fail. Maybe that will always be true. I... Do feel like I have had people on my side this year... Yeah. The compression gear. That was a significant investment and one that a lot of people don't get. My accommodation. Again. The learning people have been good to me. I have a good GP. And so on...

And I do have a tendency to get bored in the holidays... And whatever whatever is going on... I don't feel bored. That's for sure. No more playing of the sims. Yeah...

I wish you could check in slightly more often, Dr Bob. I still need you. Or probably, the idea of you. I guess it is okay that you aren't around... The place still is... I would feel a significant loss if I couldn't post here anymore. Whatever will become of me. I somehow feel like I have more people on my side from posting my stuff here. Maybe it helps people understand me.. Probably it helps me understand myself. I do feel lonely sometimes.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20150604/msgs/1080488.html