Posted by Racer on May 1, 2006, at 13:33:45
In reply to Re: Now I'm obsessing » Racer, posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 18:13:46
> >
> >... your reaction is much more apparent to others than you think. Those children know they're getting to you, which is why they keep doing it.
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> How can they do that if they forgot I existed? I really don't think they've forgotten. There's been too many blatant things lately. Plus, this is apparently what they do for fun. They pick someone every year to ostracise.OK, but that's still not about *you* -- you just take up the space they're using as a target. They can't see *you* at all. But they get their gratification from seeing the reactions their behavior triggers. And, no matter how much you think it doesn't show, I've learned that it does show. (This is about me, now -- I always think I don't show any reaction, but I know that I do.)
>
>
> > Also, life advice here: this is work, not life, so find other things to make a life out of. Take a community education class one evening a week -- ceramics, yoga, car repair, whatever. Just something that interests you and helps you keep work in perspective.
>
> I've actually been telling myself this for a while. I chant to myself, "work is not my life!" (although I haven't been doing it lately). I've even looked into the courses (the exact ones you mentioned!). I guess I just haven't followed through. I seem to have gotten off track somewhere along the way.
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> You've given me alot to think about. I've got to work on banning those negative thoughts. One of the courses I looked into is a class on Meditation. It seems like it was inexpensive too. I'll see when that starts.
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> Thanks for the advice!
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> -T
>
>OK, now for the nagging: sign up for the class. I strongly suggest ceramics, but that's because I want to take it myself. (Think about slamming that clay down to get out air bubbles... Mmmm.... Think of that being the strife you're feeling, you're going to pound it out of there...) Dance might be good, too. But do sign up for something.
And don't try to "banish" bad thoughts, so much as trying to learn to cope with them. You're always going to have some bad thoughts, that's part of being a human being who does think. The miracle is learning how to deal with them when they do happen. My own advice on this matter is to accept the thought, and counter it. Say to yourself what you would say to someone else. I'm trying to think of the sort of thing where I do this successfully....
OK, knitting. I don't plan much about what I'm knitting, I just do it, so I often hit places I didn't plan for that require extensive thinking to get through. When that happens, my first thoughts are some variation of "I don't plan, because I'm too lazy, and if I did what I needed to do, I wouldn't get into this sort of trouble, and now I won't finish this because anything I do will be wrong..." You know the sort of thing I mean? My counter to that is something like: "It might be easier if I planned more, but then I'd probably never actually make anything, I'd just plan. And I can finish this, because I can work out problems. And if my solution really is wrong, I can tear it out and knit it again. Besides, if it really doesn't ever work, I can always give it to Goodwill so someone else can wear it." It doesn't stop me from having bad thoughts, but it does make it easier to deal with them when they do occur.
These days, when those bad knitting thoughts start, I don't even get to the end of the Bad Thought -- if a BKT starts, the next thing I know, I'm casting on a pair of socks, so that I'll have something to knit while I work out how to fix my problem. (It also helps that I know I have fixed other problems and finished other projects.) Practice has made it happen without any conscious thought on my part. So, while the BKT may still come along, I don't pay attention to it, so it may as well not be there.
So, that's a long way of saying, "Are you going to show us your pots when you've finished them?"
poster:Racer
thread:635629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060422/msgs/638806.html