Posted by Gabbix2 on January 5, 2006, at 6:08:52
In reply to Re: Too afraid to get help » Gabbix2, posted by alexandra_k on January 4, 2006, at 23:10:57
> > It's rather to me like watching an alcoholic or a drug addict make several attempts.. and going back.
>
> Yes. And it can be hard to watch. Well... It isn't so hard to watch when you don't care about the person... But it can be hard to watch when you do care about the person.
>I don't think the level of caring is an issue I was addressing, I can'measure that, and I suppose if you don't care it wouldn't be so hard, but not getting frustrated, can also be an aspect of experience and education, and have nothing to do with caring less.
In the past work I've done I had to learn to be able to love and care without expecation, or I would not have been able to stay in the field as long as I did.> But you are right... Judgement isn't helpful.
> I don't think Larry was being judgemental...
> But I do think he was feeling frustrated.
> And it can be hard (or next to impossible) to post helpful responses when one is feeling frustrated.
>
I did not say he was being judgemental.> At least... I know that it is really very hard for me.
>
> And so in those times... It is better for me to walk away from the situation. Yes. Which isn't to say that I can't return later... But it is to say that sometimes I need to walk away for my own mental health yes.
>
> > Regardless. It's the not taking the medication that is the issue here.
>
> Possibly...
> Though I think a combination of medication and therapy would be the most likely to have the best result...
>
It was the not taking of the medication that caused the biggest stir. The rest of what may help is another topic, one to be discussed with Deneb.> > Lot's of people don't do it. What the result is, or how it manifests itself is simply a roll of the dice. The intent, and the reason for not taking it is no more deserving of negative judgement because of the result.
>
> I agree with you.
> But I also think that people are most likely to feel frustrated when there is a course of action that has been demonstrated to help considerably in that person in the recent past...
> They are less likely to feel frustrated when there is a course of action that nobody really knows whether it will help or not...
>
I don't think I was questioning why people feel frustrated.> > if you can't risk that it might not end up the way you wish, without becoming very upset, then don't get involved.
>
> I had a therapist once... When I had very intense and recurrent suicidal urges... She told me one day... That the thing that she was most afraid of was that one of her clients would kill themself. She said that she understood that I was at high risk... And she said that she understood that she was likely to encounter clients who were at high risk. She said that she had a lot of supervision / therapy around that when she was training to become a therapist. She said that she did agonise for a while about whether she should be a therapist given her fear. She agonised about whether she should pass on clients who were at high risk because of her fear...
>
> But she didn't walk away from me.
>
> Well... Not for a long while. Not until DBT became a viable option for me.
>
> She helped me.
>
> But it was hard going...
> Hard going for the both of us...
>
> I don't know.
>
>
I've had that as well, not with therapists, but I needed people who didn't have there own time frame for me, and it was crucial to me that they didn't express their anger or frustration, that would set me right back.There were some angels, and they did care, although they didn't get angry, or remind me how much work I was, and that's what got me through.
I'm not quite sure how this got to be a discussion on frustration, and caring.
I was saying how I felt, that's all.
And I don't think the level of frustration is always equal to the level of caring, there are many things which factor into that.
poster:Gabbix2
thread:595104
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060102/msgs/595420.html