Posted by corafree on November 13, 2005, at 22:25:18
In reply to Re: Preparing To Die » corafree, posted by Phillipa on November 13, 2005, at 21:03:00
Hi Girl. Not sure re: your email address. I responded (a short note) to an email from you about a week or more ago.
This whole below the chest area 'insides messed up' isn't being handled correctly. I actually have four diff' docs and none of them are interacting. A URO-GYN, a butt doc, an OB-GYN, and now a gastrointentinal doc. Unless, one of them puts together all the pieces of this puzzle, there is no proper treatment in sight.
Here I go again about State insurance .. my PCP is very good about referring me, but it's as if he doesn't take me seriously. My ex says no one takes me seriously because I always look good. I don't 'look' sick enough. Some one of these doctors should be pulling this all together and map out a plan, but which, as each seems particularly more concerned about their own specialty. I believe I need surgery to remove part of my colon and I (Like I should be the one thinking of this!) think that might likely change the constant pressure that is being put on the organs beneath it. It was my URO-GYN (They're the newest and busiest docs w/ all these poor women having their organs fall down, apart, or whatever, either from difficult deliveries or hysterectomies. She told me to tell anyone wondering whether to deliver naturally or cesarean, to opt for the cesarean. Heck, she'll have plenty of customers to last her life!) that saw (she was doing an insert-something .. camera view) and diagnosed toxic megacolon. That means you're full of s*hit up high and the colon below it is not large enough for it to get through. All she seemed to be concerned with at the end of the study tho', was what she would do about my cystocele and bladder prolapse. A new surgery w/ mesh that actually 'meshes and becomes part of your body' is put in to hold up the organs. But, it will fail if you have constipation. Of course, w/ a toxic megacolon you certainly have constipation. I go less than a kitten for 4+ days and then my belly swells, churns, pain, takes forever, and finally it all bursts out. It is horrible. If I can't get these docs to work together somehow, mistakes will be made, too many procedures will be done, and ultimately too much trauma on my body.
At psych hospitals that I can afford, your physical problems are to be left outside the door like a soft drink. I need special items and privacy.
All that said, .. this has been going on for years. The above, and the cervical (very upper spine) extrusions, wear me out and lay me out.
My mind is clearer than my body!
What I said about cigarettes, .. if they take them away from me long enough, I'll certainly appear mentally ill, and before I know it, someone will be slapping on a new dx.
With Valium, you can't wait to receive your midday dosage. It's not a close the glass window and techs' chuckle thing. It's serious. I can begin to hyperventilate, feel pressure in the top of my head, and pass out. 'Go back to your room and wait until so-n-so has time to get to you', and they aren't johnny-on-the-spot with benzos, is bad. So bad, that you'll see the floor start to slide out in front of you and pass out, and do we need to smash our heads on concrete floors while being cared for?
I cannot go to ERs, because once you sign in, you are not allowed to go outside for a cigarette, and I'm sorry to those of you who don't get it, but I'm addicted to cigarettes. My last visit to an ER, I sat in waiting approx 3hrs and then in a bed prob' 2hrs. By that time I was sobbing hysterically. I heard someone laugh and say, 'she thinks she's special'.
And by that time, I'd nearly forgotten what I'd come in for. Being w/o a cigarette for so long, I'd gone from anger to deep-down sadness.
Just some reasons I cannot go to an ER or a hospital.
I told the love lost that I thought I was preparing to die this morning. When I first met him 10yrs ago, he would say he was suicidal and I would seek help. I haven't heard a word from him, or anyone, and he knows my children's last names.
youknowhowIfeelaboutyou, cf
> Corafree I have a new E-mail address. Can't remember if I sent it to you. I'll Babblemail it now. I too have a rectocele and since we moved l1/2weeks ago have been in emergency room, colonoscopy, internist who thinks my loss of taste and smell are related to chronic lymes disease. An infection control specialist treated me and he said it should have been a rheumatologist. X-rays done of spine degenerative changes, multiple blood work, rulling out autoimmune diseases. Husband no job, daughter and son getting divorce. New pdoc appointment not til end of Dec. Fondly, Phillipa, ps a toy poodle like I have is hypoallergenic.
poster:corafree
thread:578215
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/578447.html