Posted by Ilene on August 1, 2005, at 18:25:02
In reply to I *need* to do well in school, posted by Deneb on July 31, 2005, at 1:00:43
> My grades are a disaster...they are either A's or D's it seems.
>Oh boy, I can relate to this. I either got A's or incompletes or dropped out. I did the best in school when my depression was better, for whatever reason.
> There is something seriously wrong with my brain at times...I just CANNOT concentrate on anything like studying during those times.
>My brain is still fried! I can't concentrate on reading or other detailed work.
> When I feel good, studying is not a big deal and I actually remember things! I find I don't even need to study that much if I just go to all of my classes. It's amazing! I feel so good about doing well and I feel smart too. I'm utterly amazed that I have the ability to be at or near the top of the class when I can concentrate and study. All that time I thought I was a complete and total idiot who probably could not finish university.
>
> When I feel badly, I write notes for hours and hours and I cannot retain any information! I don't think I'm even studying! I just cannot *think* or something! It's horrible! This just CANNOT happen again! This happens every year and my academic life is going to be absolutely screwed if I don't fix whatever the heck is wrong with me quick!
>
> I cannot learn when I'm messed up!
>That sounds a lot like depression.
> I got a brief glimpse of what I'm capable of doing and now I have to repeat it! I just cannot believe how I screw up my grades with my instability...is it even worth it anymore? Aaahh...my life is over! My GPA is messed up! I'm never going to get my B.Sc. I'm never going to get into grad school. I'm never going to get a job.
>
> Aaahh! I'm freaking out! What's going to happen with my life? What the heck am I going to do? I really messed things up!
>
>
>I basically flunked out of college, but then went back and did it over. I did better in grad school. I found there are a lot of people who messed up big time, then pulled themselves together and got an education.
I found something about BPD that says meds might help sometimes, but emphasizes psychotherapy:
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx10t.htmThe "you" that comes across in your posts sounds a lot more together than the description of people w/ BPD. I think this is a good sign. You have some perspective on your condition. It's helped me to realize that my depression is a disease, and my feelings don't necessarily reflect reality.
Good luck!
I.
poster:Ilene
thread:535880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050726/msgs/536527.html