Posted by Klokka on August 20, 2004, at 23:58:15
In reply to Re: How do I get through this...?, posted by gardenergirl on August 20, 2004, at 1:41:53
Thanks, gg. I can't really believe that I'm not responsible right now, I guess, but then... there's so much I don't see. I want so badly to call the vet and ask him what happened (both re: my cat to get some closure and know when exactly he died, and to find out what exactly was said when she called him,) but he never acknowledged my presence at appointments and so I feel too weird about that. I wish my mom hadn't implied it was a punishment (for what, exactly, I'm not sure) because it reminds me too much of the way she would make horrible threats when I was a child as opposed to disciplining me in a rational manner and I'm in no position to deal with this right now. With my theory exam for driver's ed on Tuesday and the start of classes on Wednesday, I've kind of had to go from the day he died right to pulling myself up as best I can and being productive. I'm starting to be more numb to the pain, but I don't know that that's a good thing: it feels almost like I've been wounded and the skin has healed up good as new over a still-raging infection. I'm hoping things will improve when my pdoc returns, but that's still 17 days off.
(And that will be one interesting session. Five pages of rambling left over from July to process whenever possible, plus the bit of writing I found that he did, plus my cat, plus all the old memories and feelings that has brought up... and there'll be more, no doubt.)
poster:Klokka
thread:378596
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040820/msgs/380224.html