Posted by Klokka on August 17, 2004, at 15:11:55
In reply to I am SO sorry Klokka, posted by tootercat on August 17, 2004, at 12:46:09
My mom had him put down because she was tired of cleaning his litterbox and paying his vet bills... that was all. He had slightly loose stools with a bit of blood, and off she went to arrange for his death. There probably was an alternative, but she wouldn't hear it. Even if not, he wasn't very ill. He still obviously took enjoyment from life and likely had a few good years in him. This would be so much easier for me to understand if he had seemed to be suffering (apart from litterbox trouble.) He still enjoyed being scratched under the chin, he still chased paper balls and flashlight beams down the hall, he still eagerly hopped up on my lap when I settled down to watch TV... there was no reason for him to die. Maybe we don't have the money to treat him rightthisinstant, he may very well have been in good enough shape to last until we could. It sickens me. I wish so badly that I was in a position to stop this. I hate being so powerless. I can't stop thinking of how his last hours must have been... he was terrified when the assistant took him from my arms, and never takes well to strange places. I wish I could have at least been there. I hope he was "seen" shortly... at least then he wouldn't have suffered too much. I don't even know what I'm going to do when I see my mother when she gets back from work. I know she knew full well what she was doing, and expects nothing but for me to move on like everything's okay.
Thank you for posting, it did help. I'll try not to feel too guilty about it, but it's so hard. I know I couldn't have done anything to change the outcome, but I hate myself for bringing him into that clinic and letting them take him away.
poster:Klokka
thread:378596
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/378785.html