Posted by Ilene on April 19, 2004, at 21:42:05
In reply to Dear diary April 18, posted by Ilene on April 18, 2004, at 18:22:25
Today was much like yesterday--started bad, gradually improved--only I can't remember it as well.
Let's see. I went to sleep after midnight, and I was wearing earplugs. I slept very well. Was this due to earplugs? Husband in bed? Sunspots? My horoscope?
Got up sort of late, farted around. Felt very anxious, took Klonopin. Talked to my husband about feeling anxious. I've been trying not to express myself too him very much out of regard for his feelings and needs. We reached a tentative agreement not to be as needy with each other.
I told him I thought it was because of all the things we wanted to accomplish while he was here, which made me feel overwhelmed, and just having him here. I tried to explain that whenever I get upset over something he does I *overreact* because I want everything to be perfect. (I may have a touch of black-and-white thinking, but I have a great big glob of black-and-white feelings.)
The big event for the day was going to the hardware store and the grocery store. It was hot, and I felt a little woozy. I guess maybe my blood pressure meds can help me shower, but not help me in hot weather.
I had to tell him we couldn't afford to get a new disk drive for our son. He took it fairly well. He's getting better at fiscal discipline, if not fiscal self-discipline.
He still gets mad if he thinks I'm interrupting him, but I noticed he's getting a little better tolerating me.
I feel so much calmer now (10:30 PM). Earlier today I was barely suppressing the desire to call my pdoc w/ all my anxieties. I wish I could figure out what happened and bottle it.
poster:Ilene
thread:325511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040414/msgs/337927.html