Posted by Ilene on April 24, 2004, at 18:36:06
In reply to Re: Dear diary April 22, posted by Ilene on April 23, 2004, at 21:57:20
My husband thinks I am better. I think I am better, too, sort of. I don't know if this is just a temporary uptick, or if I'm going to continue to get better.
I still feel fragile. The world seems full of pain. It frightens me. I teared right up when I read that crushedout's kitty is dying. I had a wonderful cat who got littler and littler before she died. (Actually, the vet came over and put her down.) She was just the sweetest thing. The cats we have now have their virtues, but they're not as sweet.
It's almost a year since my father died. I think about what he went through in the weeks before he died, and I worry about how he felt. He went downhill very fast.
Anyway, today we took a bunch of old computer gear to be recycled. My son had his weekly soccer game. My husband says he's playing pretty well.
I took my husband to the airport. He went back to SF, and I miss him. It took me a few days to adjust to him being here, and now he's gone. I'll see him in about 2 weeks. He's coming here and I'm going there to househunt. We'll have one day together.
I guess the thing to do is keep myself busy.
He's upset that our daughter is getting laid off. It hurts me too. I'm trying not to brood about it. I want her to be happy, and I don't think she is. She hasn't made any new friends since she moved to SF at the end of January. Now she won't have anything to do with herself.
I worry about my kids a lot. I think they are fated to have the same painful life as I have. Does worrying about it help?