Posted by LynneDa on April 16, 2004, at 9:35:39
In reply to Re: Rod... Oooops... Didn't know!, posted by geri122 on April 16, 2004, at 9:08:16
Geri - Your feelings count the very most, you're her child and she's desperate for answers as to what is going on with you and what should she do to help you. I know you feel very violated. I know how my journal reads & I would be mortified if anyone else read it!!! It may take you some time to get over this betrayal and that's okay.
I'm sure she sees the change in you over the past year or so and is scared to death. It was wrong of her to do it. But, now that the gate is open, what's the next step for the 2 of you? She knows all so what's the point of pretending anymore. The ball is in your court.
I know you're mad at her and I would be in your position too. Maybe you need to tell her what you want her to do to help you. That is what I would want if I were her. This could just be the chance you need to start getting some help sweetie!
You need to keep writing. I know that's what kept me on track when I was younger. If you talk to her about your issues or write things specifically for her to read, she won't feel the need to sneak around behind your back.
Give her a chance. She may be smarter and more insightful than you think. And she loves you, more than anyone else on this planet. A Mom's love is the most powerful and amazing thing I've ever experienced. I would move heaven and earth to help my daughter get better if I knew what I could do. Believe in that, please!!
I thought i could trust my mom. Out of everyone in my family i thought i could trust her. The other day i went out to spend the night at my friendsm, just relax. Well come to find out that night she went through my stuff and read my journal. There are thoughts in there that no one knows, now she does. She broke the only trust in someone i had. I expected it from my dad but not from my mom. She knows everything.. and she still thinks i want to talk about it, Is this good. Hell no... my thoughts have been envaded. I will never be able to write anything down again. My head will become even more crazy. What do i do. You know last night i wanted to be mad at her but all i did was think about her feelings. What about mine. Do mine not count anymore. Aparently.
> I do plan to go to college and get away. I want to go to Westminster, but now that i look at it, its not far enough away!