Posted by kara lynne on December 30, 2003, at 0:11:58
In reply to Kara, is this guy a narcissist?, posted by Medusa on December 29, 2003, at 8:46:03
Whoa, that was good Medusa. Even a few sentences describes the plague exactly:
"When we leave the Narcissist, it's because the abuse has gotten intolerable. Afterwards, when he calls us and pushes the buttons he knows extremely well, the temptation to give him another chance can be overwhelming. We're hurt; we're mad; we want to recoup some of our losses; we love him and want it to work; we just can't believe that anyone would be so warped as to hurt us that way, so we want to give them the benefit of the doubt. "
And everything following that--it's amazingly accurate. I'm reading a book called "Why Is it Always About You" that also hits a couple of salient points. The irony is that when we were in college the ex recommended a book to me called the Culture of Narcissism. Pretentious for a 20 year old, but just his style. I should have taken a hint right there.
Medusa, my therapist last said that her hope for me was that I never again get involved with a narcissist. I hope I've finished playing out this scenario, because it's been an extremely painful one. Only now am I beginning to see what insidious control his narcissism had of our relationship. If you can call it a relationship--I guess a narcissist is really only ever in relationship to himself.
Thanks so much for the reference.
poster:kara lynne
thread:294220
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/294545.html