Posted by noa on December 29, 2003, at 22:49:43
In reply to Gaslighting/ Noa, posted by kara lynne on December 29, 2003, at 22:32:40
> May your amygdala be soothed and comforted.
Why, thank you--that is a great blessing!
Re: Gaslighting--see? you have cross-validation that it is a gaslighting move.It is the best term for it--he goes and cozies up to your parents, they take the bait and then they and everyone else around you that he gets to tries to make you feel like you are just absolutely INSANE to have rejected Mr. Wonderful, and that you must, MUST have been imagining the bad stuff.
A friend of mine was pushed back into an abusive marriage this way by her family. Not only did they do all the crazy making stuff and invalidate her experiences of being beat up by this guy--her Dad LOVED this guy--they also told her just to go have a baby with him and things would get better.
She went back and then had a breakdown and ended up in the psych. hospital for 18 months(this was back in the days when insurance actually paid for long hospitalizations and the treatment for borderline personality disorder was long term hospitalization), which further traumatized her.
Thank goodness she eventually got past that, and despite the hospital's and her parents' urging to reconcile with him (they forced her to have family therapy with her abuser!), she divorced him.
Anyway, you are not crazy. Don't let them get to you.
And may YOUR amygdala be soothed and comforted.
poster:noa
thread:294220
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/294531.html