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Re: How to prevent a man from turning into a child?

Posted by Tabitha on August 15, 2003, at 12:37:41

In reply to Re: How to prevent a man from turning into a child? Ted, posted by Susan J on August 15, 2003, at 9:11:04

> >>If you find someone you truly like, instead of giving up if the emotional development is lacking, try instead to help him understand and learn. You can do this without being a mother figure.
> <<How do I do this without being a mother figure?

Hmmm, maybe by setting an example? If they want to learn they will. Or, sometimes you can gently point out typical conversation-blockers men use, like trying to fix the problem when all you want is validation for your feelings. I knew one male, who incidentally had a very well-developed feminine side, and I explained this idea to him, he asked what you say to validate feelings. I suggested he say something like 'that must be really painful'. And darn if he didn't pick it up and start saying things like that instead of trying to fix the problem! There must be a whole string of women out there benefiting from my training. Then again, I knew another male who had the same habit, I tried the same thing, but his reaction was, well, men try to fix problems and women want their feelings validated, that's just the way it is, can't change it, why try? So you have to find a guy who WANTS to learn.

 

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poster:Tabitha thread:250497
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/251082.html