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Re: How to prevent a man from turning into a child? Ted

Posted by Susan J on August 15, 2003, at 9:11:04

In reply to Re: How to prevent a man from turning into a child?, posted by Ted on August 13, 2003, at 17:03:31

> There are two different types of children men can become: emotional and playful. Your complaint is valid for the former, but not the latter. I am (I think) in the latter category.
>
<<No, I agree with you. The reasons why people become the adults they are, are so complex, I don't mean to generalize. I guess I just don't understand, really, why I keep attracting men who want me to take care of them.

> Another problem is that men often have difficulty with emotional development because of sexual stereotypes, the ways we are raised, and often the lack of emotional support from family.
<<Yes, I realize that. And my father is a classic example of this. My brother, however, was willing to be open and learned a lot from his wife. I'm really happy my brother turned out to be very emotionally healthy. :-)


>>If you find someone you truly like, instead of giving up if the emotional development is lacking, try instead to help him understand and learn. You can do this without being a mother figure.
<<How do I do this without being a mother figure? My therapist says I keep finding men I have to "fix" and that I should find a guy who's already emotionally healthy. I tried to help this last guy I was involved with, only to watch him shut down emotionally until he literally wasn't even human.

I really think I'm supportive. I don't criticize. I give men "real" compliments when they are deserving of them, rather than fake compliments for no reason, and that I think an intelligent man would see through.

> I, too, had the problem with finding women who were smart enough for me. I have high standards, even though I have only a BS from university. I dated a PhD; a girl who graduated highschool in 3 years, tutored mathematics, and was first-violin in the orchestra; and my wife who got her math/CS degree summa cum laude.
<< Does your wife have a single brother? :-)

But really, that's great that you found someone both intellectually and emotionally compatible with you. Is it luck, or hard work?

Susan


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poster:Susan J thread:250497
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/251017.html