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Re: Dating - My Lack of Self-Esteem/Man's Lack of It Susan J

Posted by fallsfall on August 13, 2003, at 10:01:26

In reply to Dating - My Lack of Self-Esteem/Man's Lack of It, posted by Susan J on August 13, 2003, at 8:44:09

> Their insecurities: I am a lawyer. I make more money and have more education than most men I run into, which really doesn't matter to me, but "they" always are bringing it up. At first, they seem fine with it, even admire how independent I am, but then I slowly notice they make comments about me being in the "high class" crowd, or I'm "way too smart for them." ????
> I'm not smart, just happen to be a book geek. The crowd I run in may seem way up there, but that's because my peers from law school are now VERY successful and some are high profile (when I'm only moderately successful).
You are smart. You wouldn't be a lawyer if you weren't smart. I'm guessing that you can't admit that because you think it turns the guys off.

I have a MA in Math (Computer Science). I married a man who has a high school education and is currently driving a School Bus. I loved him because he had the emotional stuff that my parents didn't (and because he didn't have the intellectual stuff that they did). We were married for 19 years. In retrospect, it would have been better to marry someone who was more similar in education. I think the discrepancy encouraged him to be subservient to me (and this was the eventual downfall of the marriage). He was perfectly happy to be my slave and give me all of the responsibility. I also missed having intellectual stimulation for those 19 years - I will never get that back.

So my advice is to acknowledge and enjoy your intellect and find some one who can also acknowledge and enjoy it. It may be harder to find that person, but I think it will be worth it.

How old are you?

> Think my insecurities are making me go for insecure men?




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