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Re: Dating - My Lack of Self-Esteem/Man's Lack of It fallsfall

Posted by Susan J on August 13, 2003, at 10:18:23

In reply to Re: Dating - My Lack of Self-Esteem/Man's Lack of It Susan J, posted by fallsfall on August 13, 2003, at 10:01:26

I'm 36. Never married.

Maybe I had the same type of problem as you did. My last serious boyfriend (whom I lived with) did end up being more like a child than a partner.

He quit his full-time job to go back to school, which I fully supported. He was supposed to work part time to pay his portion of the mortgage. I also paid his cell phone bill (which was supposed to be a temporary thing), and then, when I asked him to stay within his minute limit because I didn't want to pay such a high bill, he started arguing that I was "using more minutes" than he was! Then I had to nag him to pick up after himself, and god it had turned into my parents' marriage.

I have no problem at all dating intellectual guys -- in fact that is the type I'm VERY attracted to. But my experience (and I don't mean to generalize) is that highly intellectual men are really into their careers, don't have time for me, and aren't very good at people/communication skills.

Am I being too picky in my own way? (It's not so obvious to me like my girlfriends who want guys who are single, never married/no kids, 6-figure salary, handsome, and in power-jobs.)

Emotional connection is something I can't compromise on, so I thought it was fine to compromise on the intellectual connection. I dunno. Not going to marry just for the sake of getting married, so sometimes I feel I'm doomed to a sometimes lonely singledom.


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poster:Susan J thread:250497
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/250517.html