Posted by fallsfall on July 13, 2003, at 10:43:16
In reply to Anger, posted by kara lynne on July 13, 2003, at 0:59:12
I stuff my anger most of the time, too. I don't even know that I have the anger. Every once in a while someone will point out that I'm angry (usually I am demanding something in a very controlled way that gives the other person absolutely no option) - I have no idea that I'm angry.
My daughter thinks I'm angry a lot more often than I do. She's probably right.
I think your outburst was entirely understandable. She disobeyed your one request, you are leaving your boyfriend, moving and other things that my feable brain can't remember. You needed to get a little stress out, and she just happened to be the one who got in your face at the wrong time. Since she's a friend, she must understand at least in part what you are going through. If you call or email or visit and say what a horrible day it was for you and you hope that she will accept your apology for yelling at her, if she is your friend it will be OK. If she's not your friend, at least you got moved. Not everybody is willing to be there through thick and thin - but your real friends are. This may be a way to find out what side of the fence she is on.
I worry that you were hitting yourself, but I understand it. I have turned external anger inward, too. Were you angry at yourself because you yelled? Or was is just too much stress? Do you know?
None of us are perfect all the time. We need to accept that sometimes we'll do things that we're not thrilled about. We can try to make them positive experiences by learning from them. But we have to accept them as reasonable parts of normal people. How would you feel if someone did that undesirable thing to you? Would you understand? Would you forgive them? If you would forgive them, then you should forgive yourself. [Please copy and past this paragraph into a post for me. I need to hear it.]
I have so much to learn about anger. Maybe we can share revelations.
poster:fallsfall
thread:241365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030713/msgs/241432.html