Posted by Phil on December 31, 2002, at 22:41:50
In reply to Re: Thanks guys for trying to help » Lou Pilder, posted by Miller on December 31, 2002, at 16:23:27
As far as time goes, I really don't see how time is a great healer. Some of my more atrocious deeds were done over 15 years ago. I still can't forgive myself. Nor, do I think I should. There are some things that I have done to others that will be with them eternally. How can a person make up for that? You don't have to.
_________
How do you know how long they will be affected. They may have gotten on with their lives quite well. I have no idea what you did but I've got a feeling you have company.
Here's something to do without sweating, much.
4th & 5th step of AA. In step 4, you write every bad lousy thing you have ever done in your life. Take a few weeks but hold nothing back.
Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself.5.Admit to God, yourself and another human being the exact nature of your wrongs. I did this with my therapist at the time.
It's one of the most powerful tools in recovery and you may find out one thing. You aren't going to want to do it.
Do it. You have to get the garbage out. It's incredibly effective and you'll have many pages.
If your therapist is familiar with the process, it would be where I start.
_______
I still (can't) (won't) forgive myself. Nor, do I think I should.>>Feeling rotten about your past is not a positive character trait. God doesn't give points for you carrying guilt. Of course you should forgive yourself unless it's getting comfortable and has become normal to wake up daily and beat the crap out of yourself.
Say to those you can't make amends to, in your writing, what you would do to make it right if you could. Your therapist or an empty chair can be the person you've harmed. See them in front of you-say how sorry you are-how badly you've felt.
You might want a little extra time with your therapist so you might want to be the last appt of the day. Plus, you're going to look like hell when you leave.
All these suggestions are good that others have posted. Try one or all. And before you go to bed at night, look at your image in the mirror and repeat 10 times. I love you so much "Miller" and you deserve to be happy.
By the way, it takes a broken spirit to 'find' God. You know your head-He knows your heart.
I can't seem to write a short post these days. I would apologize but you don't have to read it and I'm not going to guilt myself over it. : )
You blame you. Like most of us, you're neurotic. You think it's all your fault.
There's another type person and they have a character disorder. They think everything wrong in their life was someone else's fault. You can be helped-people with character disorders feel no guilt and take no responsibility.I'm done
poster:Phil
thread:34180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34304.html