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Re:Who wants to go on Oprah to promote lump...??!!

Posted by caroline h. on November 13, 2000, at 14:59:51

In reply to Re: Lump Basket Orders, posted by Racer on November 13, 2000, at 13:11:50

> There's only one problem I can see so far: WebVan requires versions of browsers that are not available for Linux/UNIX users.
> Other than that, fruitcake doesn't require rocks. (My fruitcake theory: we all know someone who has eaten fruitcake fairly regularly, right? That's because it's not really only one fruitcake making the rounds! There are three fruitcakes made each year. They join the dozen or so which travel the world, bringing happiness to all. Each year, those strange creatures who believe fruitcake to be edible eat three older fruitcakes. Therefore, the dozen fruitcakes in circulation are all relatively fresh. Be careful though: you never know when it's your turn to be eaten!)
> OK. That said, how about:
> adding a cat to the basket, for those of us who want one. It should be a ragdoll cat, too lethargic to move much beyond purring.
> a laptop computer so that we don't have to get off the sofa to commune with our compatriots.
> a hot water bottle or other heating device for our footses
> pajamas with feet!!! (I want some NOW)
> Nubile young slaves to do our biddings -- they don't even have to be formatted!
> I've got my own sex god, so that wouldn't help me, but some might like one included...
> And for those of us who don't crave chocolate covered cherries, how about something else -- butterfingers, maybe? MozartKugeln?
> And hairbands! We need hairbands! Keep that hair out of our eyes, without having to brush it!
> When can that basket be delivered? I'll be here all day. On the other hand, I may shower later today. (I'm working, after all, and this nightgown isn't the most professional I own. It's plaid, a hand-me-down from my mother.)
> (Philosophical question: why is it that the clothes my mother passes on to me are hand-me-downs, while those of mine which end up in her closet are hand-me-UPs??)

okay, guys---

Who among us is willing to go on Oprah to promote lump basket orders and the lumptonian cause? rest (no pun intended) assured that NO ONE will be required to rise from his/her couch, fly to chicago, etc. oprah's staff will film all guests "at home" --only thing is, any guest must have sufficient aisle space for oprah staff to come in door, and a little space in which to film
would be nice. that leaves me out. maybe we can get dr. bob to be on show cuz he's already in chicago --sort of explain the thing, and hand out the seroquel/depakote mulled wine to the studio audience? (no professional slander/libel/alleged malpractice intended, dr. bob - the ama etc. will close its eyes in view of the necessity of supporting the lumpland cause. an oprah freak i know told me that when martha stewart was on the show last week that she didn't mention anything about decorating your prison cell with "special for x-mas" meth recipes? there is a such thing as equal time, you know.
any volunteers???

caroline h.




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