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Re: Lump Baskets

Posted by shar on November 12, 2000, at 11:01:55

In reply to Re: Lump Baskets S. Howard, posted by Greg on November 10, 2000, at 20:59:27

Greg--You can get your Basic Lump Basket that has a designer meds container so you don't have to leave the sofa for meds.

I think the hat with a straw idea is brilliant!

I have one suggestion in the case of Lumps with caller ID: you have to remember all those numbers! How can that possibly be done? I recommend what I use: a digital answering machine with no message. After two rings, it picks up and a mechanical voice says "Please record message" and most people hang up. Those who know me will start talking (Shar, I know you're there, pick up, this is Blank calling, don't pretend you're not home, I know you are on the sofa. Come on, off the sofa, up girl up, pick.....) then I pick up my cordless phone which I keep by the couch.

The only problem is the mess on the phone left from my sticky brown lips and sticky brown fingies.

Shar (HC Emesis and Citizen Rosebud)

> Gracie,
> Thanks for the warm welcome, I really appreciate it! Your Lump Basket idea is borderlining on sheer genious! Might it be possible for you to concoct a Zyprexa/Neurontin drink for me? My meds are the one thing that I will drag myself from the couch for. I envision one of those beer hats that you see at all the football games, a can on either side and the straw in the mouth. Then I never have to leave the couch....My company bought me a laptop thinking that it would make me more productive, little did they know... One thing you might consider adding to the basket is a lifetime membership to Webvan's home delivery service, the single greatest invention in Lumptonian history me thinks. Perhaps Shar should document this for historical purposes?
> Oh well, I have to eat dinner now. Who can I get to chew my food for me?
> Hugs by proxy,
> Greg
> > First, I would like to welcome Greg back to the fold. If such a hue and cry had been raised when I quit my last job, I would probably be working there now for free. Not!! Anyway, you get the idea - from our couches, from underneath our blankets, our chocolate-coated fingers extend in a V-for-victory sign. You have returned just in time for my clever idea to make us all wealthy.
> > I have grown more thoughtful while imbibing in the National Drink (after I finally got someone to remove the cork). Imagine yourself recieving the following Lump Basket:
> > -Gift certificate for free delivery pizza
> > -Back scratcher
> > -Ben & Jerrys coupons
> > -Caller ID, for those lagging lumps without (I would give up my refrigerator before Caller ID)
> > -Tarot cards or Rune stones, for those active times
> > -Flannel undies
> > -A little bell for ringing when you want stuff
> > -"Dry shampoo" hair spray
> > -Double-stuff Oreos (make SURE you got milk)
> >
> > A holiday gift basket for lumps with IRS (Irritating Relative Syndrome) should include a silver flask of the finest something (I suggest Tequila Rose or Jagermeister, well chilled), earphones, and maybe some voodoo dolls with pins.
> > Deluxe gift baskets for lumps with irritating young relatives will include a recording of Pat Boone singing Christmas songs. Lumps with irritating old relatives can get a recording of
> > the Best of AC/DC. Either way, you have your flask and earphones. If that still doesn't clear the house, I intend to perfect my recipe of "Mulled Depakote/Seroquel Wine for Company" in time for the holidays.
> > All my best - Gracie




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