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Re: Lump Baskets

Posted by S. Howard on November 10, 2000, at 20:27:16

In reply to Re: Lump Baskets, posted by coral on November 10, 2000, at 18:51:32

First, I would like to welcome Greg back to the fold. If such a hue and cry had been raised when I quit my last job, I would probably be working there now for free. Not!! Anyway, you get the idea - from our couches, from underneath our blankets, our chocolate-coated fingers extend in a V-for-victory sign. You have returned just in time for my clever idea to make us all wealthy.
I have grown more thoughtful while imbibing in the National Drink (after I finally got someone to remove the cork). Imagine yourself recieving the following Lump Basket:
-Gift certificate for free delivery pizza
-Back scratcher
-Ben & Jerrys coupons
-Caller ID, for those lagging lumps without (I would give up my refrigerator before Caller ID)
-Tarot cards or Rune stones, for those active times
-Flannel undies
-A little bell for ringing when you want stuff
-"Dry shampoo" hair spray
-Double-stuff Oreos (make SURE you got milk)

A holiday gift basket for lumps with IRS (Irritating Relative Syndrome) should include a silver flask of the finest something (I suggest Tequila Rose or Jagermeister, well chilled), earphones, and maybe some voodoo dolls with pins.
Deluxe gift baskets for lumps with irritating young relatives will include a recording of Pat Boone singing Christmas songs. Lumps with irritating old relatives can get a recording of
the Best of AC/DC. Either way, you have your flask and earphones. If that still doesn't clear the house, I intend to perfect my recipe of "Mulled Depakote/Seroquel Wine for Company" in time for the holidays.
All my best - Gracie




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