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Want vs. Need » Twinleaf

Posted by annierose on May 31, 2012, at 7:34:28

In reply to Re: What are you STILL doing in therapy?!, posted by Twinleaf on May 30, 2012, at 12:28:03

Well ... the fact that I moved so quickly into flirting is causing much worry for my therapist. This gets back to the original thread - want vs. need.

And yes, my therapist has been beyond supportive during this process - - and it has been a LONG process as I have been unhappy for years (as my babble friends could atest and have witnessed). But the added boost of confidence came from an unlikely source - my workout instructor. He has a military background. I mention that because he always pushed me beyond my comfort level so that I learned that uncomfortable feelings don't last, that I could do anything I set my mind to, that I was stronger than I knew, never give up and so many other wonderful life lessons. My therapists said, "He accomplished in one year what we have been working on for five." Not to downplay my work with my therapist - because she is the ROCK - but I needed his hand holding, and what I like to call "active encouragement" [he could actually touch me, hug me, and get in my face] vs the therapy setting of passive support (albeit deep) ... if that makes sense. And of course, I developed a deep attachment for my trainer which complicates everything. He recently got married so we both had to readjust and redefine our relationship and boundaries. I learned I fell apart just walking away from him - and I think he struggled too. I returned to his gym and his training and I am happy to have his support once again, and he is happy to be training me. But there are no more flirty texts with him!! :( However there are 2 other men ... and with my therapists encouragment, I am trying to shut a lot of this down until I am on more solid ground.

But to answer your question, the flirting comes back naturally. I have been in a dead relationship for a long time. Once my body "awakened" - I like [want/need] that attention from men. Flirting is safe because I don't have to act on the words.

 

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poster:annierose thread:1018478
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