Posted by annierose on May 23, 2012, at 6:45:44
In reply to What are you STILL doing in therapy?!, posted by Daisym on May 22, 2012, at 20:05:32
I oouldn't imagine myself volunteeringly giving up seeing my therapist. I know I will have to at some point, but I am not pushing it. Maybe I hold her so close to my heart because I did quit years ago and waited 15 years to call her again - so I remember that grief that lingered.
I think I still want to go not only because my life is still a work in progress (very much so these days) but I did not grow up with the traditional sense of self that healthy children seem to have instilled inside of themeslves from their parents. Just yesterday my t pointed out how distrubed and sick my mother was - what kind of mother tells their daughter that she was "too much" and not pretty, and not protect her from a bullying brother, instead laugh at his cruel jokes.
My t is my kind and thoughtful voice in my head. She gives me permission to safely explore my feelings without judgment or jokes. I had never experienced that sort of loving kindness before I met my therapist. It is such a SLOW process - to untangle those destructive internal messages in our heads and replace them with gentler thoughts.
I wouldn't be moving towards a hopeful future if it wasn't for my therapist and supportive friends like YOU!! What a freakin' few months I have bulldozed through ....
Yes, give yourself permission to have a healthy relationship in your life, someone that always has your best interests at stake. Powerful!